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There has to be a law for that.

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there-has-to-be-a-law-for-that-zero-dean

How come when I do something ridiculous, I almost always have an audience…

But when I do something awesome, there are never any witnesses to my awesomeness… Even in a crowded gym.

Kick flipping that yoga ball onto the rack just now was awesome.

Audience = 0.

Literally.

I believe there has to be some kind of universal law dictating that the size of your viewing audience is inversely proportional to the degree to which your action was awesome.

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Originally published on: Sep 28, 2012 @ 09:46

Banana peels…

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banana-peels-zero-dean

Confession of the day:

As a child, I used to think that slipping on banana peels was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.

* When I saw this banana peel in the gym parking lot, it immediately reminded me of a similarly themed meme involving quicksand. So yes, it is totally inspired by that — but also prompted by a real-life encounter with a banana peel. :)

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Originally published on: Aug 10, 2013 @ 06:30

Semi-colons

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semi-colons-zero-dean

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There are two; types of people in the world; those who know; how to use semi-colons properly; and those who don’t.

Full disclosure:

Semicolons are one of the reasons why I break so many grammatical rules on purpose. Basically — to avoid drawing attention to the fact that despite going to college for six years — some of which involving English — I still can’t use a semicolon worth a damn.

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Related:

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.” – Kurt Vonnegut

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Originally published on: Aug 16, 2013 @ 13:52