Humor & awkward moments by Zero Dean based on weird thoughts & real-life experiences often presented in webcomic format.
“I’m not labeled for individual sale, but if you want me, just ask.”
Another failed pick up line at the gym today.
From the comments:
Vik Sohal: No No NO, This is how it should have gone: “I’m not labeled for individual sale, I only come in a SIX PACK!”
“I’ll never forget how we met. I was standing here. And you were standing there. And I said, ‘I’ll never forget how we met.'”
Another failed pick up line at the gym today.
12:53 PM
I’m no expert, but I think the guy leaning against the wall outside of this laundromat and hissing at people might be a demon.
Or a highly evolved lizard snake person.
I wonder if he will be friends with me?
2:07 PM
THERE IS NO ZERO, ONLY ZUUL.
2:40 PM
5:49 PM
“I am ZUUL.”
Another failed pickup line at the gym today.
“I see you’re into the premium stuff. I’m more of a regular guy, myself. But check out my pumping moves.”
Another failed pick up line at the gas station today.
Re: Pumping with confidence (video)
From the comments:
Carl: ARCO – Pumping With Confidence
Zero: OH HELL YEAH. I am pumping with confidence!
That said, that commercial feels weird. Like a parody. But it isn’t a parody.
Carl: Yeah, when I first saw that, I was amazed that they actually went there. It’s right up there with K-Mart’s “ship my pants” one
Zero: OoooOOOOooooh. O_O.
“We could have it all if you’d roll in the deep with me… but if you just want to roll in the shallow end, that’s cool.”
Another failed pick up line at the gym today.
RE: Rolling in the Deep – Adele (video)
My “Ask me about being straight and available!” button didn’t attract any ladies at the gym yesterday, so I’m going to try taping $100 bills to my body today and see if that works.
This is *totally* gonna work.
I’m excited!
Related:
Rather than try a pick up line at the gym today, I’ve decided to simply wear a big button that says, “Ask me about being straight & single!”
Oh yes. This.will.work.
Muahahaha!
“I have a plan for the two of us, and it’s going to be awesome. But it requires that you follow my script exactly or it’s not going to work.”
Another failed pick up line at the gym today.
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget our anniversary.”
Another failed pick up line at the gym today.
“I was going to call you today, but I don’t have your number.”
Another failed pick up line at the gym today.
From the comments:
Kimberli: I actually think that one is kinda cute and could work, depending on the delivery!!
Zero: As with many of them — bad as they are — some could actually be “saved” if done in just the right way (proper approach, tone, body language…) with just the right person… at an appropriate time.
In many cases, when strangers approach other strangers and begin speaking, the person being spoken to doesn’t immediately register what is even being said. Instead they are drawing upon all these other factors — and their general sense of comfort and/or attraction to the speaker.
A person’s mind is often made up regarding that kind of immediate “interest” in another person before it has even registered what has been said.
Of course, what IS said does make a difference, but there are so many subtle nuances involved that it isn’t always easy to predict what will work or what won’t.
I’ve written about this before, and the best approach isn’t a pickup line. It’s authenticity. Or humor. Or both. :)
Kimberli: Exactly! ;)
Related: