Life pro tip:
Sometimes you just gotta let the Wookiee win.
Originally published on: Nov 24, 2013 @ 20:35
That awkward moment you have a new found respect for your new spelling and grammar checker because it suggests that you to capitalize the word “Wookie”… and you totally agree.
Don’t want no lower case Wookiees round here. Dat be for sure.
RE: Limp Bizkit – Nookie (video)
Zero Dean, doing more laundry at the laundromat by 8:30 am than most people do by 9.
I know it’s true because no one is here.
Unless they all got their laundry done before I walked in! O_o (place opens at 6:30am)
From the comments:
James: so possibly everyone else got more laundry done by 7 than you did by 8:30?
Zero: Those people are laundromat Jedis.
Some people have trouble with “Changer #2”, but I didn’t.
I read the note and thanked it for cooperating.
From the comments:
Vik: I think its rather presumptuous of Changer #2 that it thanks you for your cooperation before you give it.
Zero: Thanking me? I thought I was being told that in order for cooperation, I should thank it.
In cafe. At the coffee station.
I misjudge the alignment of the spout of the creamer container while pouring it into my coffee vessel.
In short, I make a mess.
At the same moment, one of the staff approaches to switch out two of the coffee containers.
“You don’t see this”, I say, as I grab napkins to clean up my spill, “You are unaware of this catastrophe.”
“You will have no recollection of this encounter.”
He laughs, again, “It’s ok.”
As I finish cleaning up the last bit of it and he finishes putting the coffee in place, “My clumsiness should not be your problem.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it”
He laughs again and I walk away.
Jedi mind tricks, if you can’t make ’em work, make ’em funny.
That awkward moment you are on your way out of a grocery store and, as you approach the two way automated sliding doors, you begin your usual trick where you wave your arms and open the doors using your Jedi powers —
Only where, moments before, there was no one around, a man pops out of nowhere to enter the building.
And while your arms, already in motion, are performing what is, to you, a harmless Jedi trick, the doors open and the man, caught by surprise, suddenly sees an oncoming attacker and flinches as if to lessen what is surely going to be a powerful blow.
Only it wasn’t. Man, I was just opening the doors. O_O
I immediately apologized, but he’d already started laughing.
So all’s well that ends well.
I had no idea my Jedi powers were getting that powerful!
No one told me I could use my jedi mind skills to get people to write quotes on their dry erase boards!
I think I just leveled up! Muahahahaha! ;)
This opens up a whole new range of possibilities!
Image courtesy of Melissa Shaubach Gieniec.
At cafe. Buy coffee.
Walk to coffee dispensers.
Dispense coffee into cup.
Need cup cover.
Grab coffee stirrer.
Look at coffee stirrer and realize I meant to grab cup cover.
Grab another coffee stirrer.
Take mental inventory of what I’m carrying.
Coffee cup. Check!
Filled with coffee. Check!
Two coffee stirrers. O_o
Brain is now very confused.
Mentally reenact entire coffee acquisition process.
Realize I wanted coffee cup cover. Grabbed coffee stirrer.
Not once. But twice.
So this is what it feels like to be Jedi mind tricked? O_o
“These are not the coffee cup covers you are looking for.”
Walks up to cafe counter.
“Hiiii. Can I help you.”
Sure, can I get a coffee mug?
Someone else from across the counter yells, “I’ve got it!” — and then walks over, hands it to me.
*I look back at the cashier — because this is usually the part where the customer is billed*
“Was there anything else?”, she asks.
Um, nope, just the mug.
*I stand there — looking at her*
*she looks back*
*And then I just walk off thinking:*
Damn! My Jedi mind trick skills are getting SOOOO GOOOOD!