Confession of the day:
Whenever someone says their name is Earl, I want to ask them if it’s short for Earlier.
Mostly because it would be really cool knowing someone named Earlier.
Especially at parties.
“Did you meet my crazy friend, Earlier?”
“Who?”
“Earlier.”
“No, I said who.”
“That’s what I said. Earlier.”
“What did you say earlier?”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, my friend is Earlier.”
“You’re crazy!”
“No, I’m Zero! Earlier is crazy.”
“What happened earlier?”
“I was asking if you met my friend, Earlier.”
“Which friend?”
“Earlier.”
Meanwhile at the other side of the room…
“Hey Earlier! Who’d you bring tonight?”
“Zero.”
“Oh, you didn’t bring anyone, Earlier?”
“I brought Zero.”
“That’s what I said, Earlier.”
“No, you said I brought zero, earlier.”
“Yes. Exactly. You came alone then?”
“No.”
…