When I operate my own auto manufacturing business…

Dear Facebook
Take my undergarments, please!

When I operate my own auto manufacturing business, I will be sure to provide an interior audio option that allows for an accentuated driving experience for the driver, without being an unnecessary distraction to those beyond range of the vehicle’s sound system.

Our auto audio enhancement add-on system (AAEAOSYS™) will realistically sync to — and overlay — every sound your engine makes.

Heard of noise cancelling headphones? Of course you have! This system is just like that, except totally the opposite. We don’t cancel noise, we accentuate it — in the manner of your choosing!

Getting under the hood of your car can be expensive! But there’s no need for that! With AAEAOSYS™, adding additional horsepower to your vehicle is as simple as buying one of our audio enhancement modules.

Does adding an additional 100 horsepower to your car sound nice? Of course it does! It sounds really nice. And you can have it today for only $99.

Now you can cruise through neighborhoods to the sound of your very own 300HP audio-enhanced engine (from your point of view inside the vehicle) while remaining discreet and low-profile on the outside. Your 300HP audio-enhanced engine will be your little secret. Who needs to know you have it? No one!

Want to make your car sound like it has a broken muffler? If you’re one of a select group of clientele, you just shouted yes! — And hallelujah! Well you’re in for a treat! Our AAEAOSYS™ Broken Muffler module is only $199.

“I want to drive a Lamborghini!”, you say! To which we reply, “Get in line!”

But wait!

While we can’t turn your car into a Lamborghini, but we sure as heck can make it sound like one using our AAEAOSYS™ Lamborghini module! (Licensing deals prohibit us from discussing pricing options). In fact, we can make your car sound like any car you can imagine!

Think car sounds are boring!? You’re not alone!

That’s why we also sell a variety Auto Audio Enhancement types ranging from jungle animals to intergalactic spacecraft!

Have you ever wondered what it would sound like to drive a real jaguar? Now you can!
Have you always wanted to be a Tie Fighter pilot? Now you can!

Does your car look like a boat? Why not go all the way and make it sound like one!

Just reply to this ad, say “Zero sent you”, and get 50{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} off your first purchase!

Don’t wait! Do it now!

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*This was originally just a sentence long, but I kind went into “salesperson mode” and got carried away.