Dear followers –

It has recently come to my attention that some of you were told that if you followed me, there would be snacks.

And there were no snacks.

I apologize for this.

I want you to know that the person is charge of snacks has been sacked.

Unfortunately, it has been brought to my attention that the Snack Dept — if one would even dare go so far as to call it that — is in such a sad state of disarray due to minutes of mismanagement, that any snacks that we may have (allegedly?) had available at one time are no longer available.

So, there will be no snacks.

I know, I know. I feel your disappointment. I’m hungry, too — and could use a snack as much as anyone. You better believe that if there were snacks to be had, I would have them.

But there are no snacks. None. Ixnay on the acksnay.

That being said, I am quite happy to discuss other cost-free snack alternatives.

Can I interest you in a virtual *hug (high five, fist bump, hat tip…)

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