Very suspicious

Bill Dollar says you'll understand



7:17 PM

Please report all suspicious activity to me.

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7:31 PM

Re: my request for you to report all suspicious activity to me.

The lack of suspicious activity reports I have received since posting my request 10 minutes ago makes me suspicious.

Therefore, it is in your own best interest to report something suspicious, otherwise I will consider that suspicious.

Which is unfortunate, because before I posted my request for suspicious activity reports, I wasn’t suspicious at all.

But now I think some of you are hiding something. And that’s suspicious.

From the comments:

Carrie: The cat is looking at my rotisserie chicken… Suspiciously…

Zero: Why? Does your cat think your rotisserie chicken committed a crime?

Carrie: Yes, Kiera the cat thinks it’s a crime that the chicken was not in her food bowl.

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8:02 PM

I don’t want to name any names here, but there is this one person — whose name starts with a letter in the alphabet — who hasn’t responded to my request 30 minutes ago to report suspicious activity to me.

And that is making me really, really suspicious of them.

Like, if I saw them in a police line up, I would totally think that they look suspicious.

But I’d still properly identify the real culprit. Because I have ethics.

But still. I’d look at them suspiciously. Like for a long time. To make them know that I thought they looked suspicious.

From the comments:

Raven: It’s even more suspicious that they would be able to see you looking at them suspiciously through one-way mirrors.

Zero: THAT IS SUSPICIOUS! What kind of place is this suspicious place that I imagined!? Maybe they have super powers?

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9:05 PM

I am very suspicious of people who are very suspicious of people.

But I am also very suspicious of people who are not very suspicious of very suspicious people.

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Originally published on: Aug 31, 2014 @ 19:17