The Lock Chopper

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The future's so bright I've gotta wear shades


That awkward moment you discover that the secondary keyring chain that you used to keep your plastic membership cards on — that you lost 2 months ago — had one key on it (which you had forgotten about).

And that one key went to the lock on your storage unit.

And so you learn it costs about $55 to cut one of those locks off…

Looks like I gotta call The Lock Chopper.

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On the phone with the Lock Chopper

“So how much would it be?”

“Normally it’s $55, but I think they like me to charge $50 over there.”

“Ok, well I’m outside of Lowe’s. Lemme just see how much it would cost to rent something to get my lock off and if it’s not much difference, I’ll call you right back.”

“Ok. But I know a guy who did that. Got his lock off fine. The hard part is not damaging the door. If you damage the door, it’s $700.”

“$50 sounds good. Let’s do this.”

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That awkward awesome moment when the older lady behind the desk in the storage facility where you have a storage unit offers you a brand new lock to replace the one you’re about to have cut off because you lost the key and your self-deprecating humor amuses her.

And maybe your smile.

And you are wearing a blue shirt.

And I just got done working out.

And I smell good today.

“Here, I’ll give you this new lock, but mum’s the word.”

Yup. Mum’s the word.

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Walking over to my storage unit…

“How long do you think this will take you?”

“Oh, about 30 seconds.”


“Yeah, the taking calls and driving around is what takes the longest.”

Nice guy.

When he finished (in 30 seconds) we talked about how he got into this, how much he works, etc. Interesting stuff.

He seemed genuinely surprised when I tipped him $5 because he was such a pleasure.

If you ever need a lock chopped in Las Vegas, I recommend the Lock Chopper.


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