Humor & awkward moments by Zero Dean based on weird thoughts & real-life experiences often presented in webcomic format.
The thing about catching people checking you out is that you always have to check them out again to see if they check you out again.
And so you check them out again to see if they check you out again and then wonder if they’re wondering if you’re checking them out again to simply check them out again, or checking them out to check if they’re checking you out again.
Related:
Originally published on: Mar 30, 2011 @ 13:37
So a girl writes to me on match and all she says is “meow”. So that’s good, right?
I penned a very eloquent response, “meow, meow, meow.”
I think we’re really going places.
Originally published on: Aug 10, 2012 @ 12:54
So… a girl walks into the cafe I’m in.
But she doesn’t just “walk” in. She makes a performance out of it, passing by me several times. Why? I don’t know.
She then sits 3 empty seats away from me at the opposite end of the “bar”, against the wall, but facing my direction.
And then proceeds to act *completely* disinterested…
So she’s interested, right?
Originally published on: Dec 21, 2011 @ 10:25
Me: See attractive woman at the gym. Want to talk to her.
Brain: Whoa. Whoa, dude. Let’s not be hasty.
Me: (18 months later) How about now?
Brain: Don’t you rush me!!!
From the comments:
Kristy: Do it! You never know maybe she has been wanting to talk to you too.
Zero:
Sometimes she acts completely disinterested in me in the same way I act completely disinterested in her. And sometimes I can’t tell.
One of the things I like most about her is how she works out. Which may sound weird, but she doesn’t screw around — and I find that very inspiring and motivating. Which, in turn, makes me up my game.
Today we shared equipment. Thus extending my strength training routine by 30 minutes. ;)
So romantic. :)
Michelle: Just talk to her. If you find she returns the conversation then gauge if it’s an appropriate time to ask her out or not. Key: make her laugh! If you accomplish that…she will remember you. (Just don’t be creepy about it)
Zero:
Therein lies the rub. People who wear headphones while they are working out would likely prefer not to be interrupted.
Also, large 2 floor gyms aren’t conducive to bumping into people in the exact same area all the time.
Also, timing.
Trust me, if there was a good opportunity, I’d make an effort to take advantage of it.
Related:
Originally published on: Jan 13, 2014 @ 12:56
That awkward moment you briefly consider that the waiting area of a pharmacy might be a good place to meet women.
Annnnnnnd this is why I’m single.
Related:
Maybe I should just date a Wi-Fi network.
Those always seem to be available.
Dear Cupid –
Did you die or are we just not friends anymore?
Sincerely,
Zero
Weird thought of the day:
I don’t know why lions are considered “courageous”. After all, if I weighed over 550 pounds, had razor sharp claws, a huge mane, and really big teeth, I imagine I’d be pretty courageous, too.
I might even approach women…
“Hey laaaaadieeees. *Rowr*”
Plenty of fish in the sea, they say.
Well, maybe that was great like a billion+ years ago, but I’m kind of looking for a female land dweller now…
I’d even consider a cute mermaid — even if it meant I had to buy a house boat (and that’s a real long-term investment).
Although I am now wondering what mermaids eat… and if she’d be willing to adopt.
Ok, that’s enough thinking for a Sunday.
Today I learned that gay guys can pretty much shout anything complimentary to women anywhere at any time… and it appears they like it.
Which got me to thinking: I wonder if I can do that?
Maybe I’ll try it at the gym tomorrow…
“OMG girlfrien’!!! You got some dangerous curves!!! And I just love your hair!!!”