Humor & awkward moments by Zero Dean based on weird thoughts & real-life experiences often presented in webcomic format.
Sitting in my car in the gym parking lot.
Looking in the rear-view mirror.
Just watched a shady-ass crow hop on someone’s hood.
Yell out my sunroof, “Shady-ass crow, what are you up to?”
No answer.
This means I have to investigate.
Because crows are evil geniuses.
Also, I’m looking for good ideas.
*Quoth the raven, “Ideas galore.” (wikipedia)
Related:
So… It turns out that birds pooping on you is considered good luck.
And I now realize that actively avoiding it all this time might be my problem.
So tomorrow it is my goal to get as much good luck on me as possible!
Related:
Birds did not poop on my head today.
It was a good day.
Related:
Birds, please take note: I do not park under trees to give you something to do while I’m away.
If you keep up with your, uh, messy behavior, I will have to reconsider our relationship.
Related:
A shady bird pooped through my open sunroof this morning.
So I just shared a banana with a trio of seagulls.
You may not see the connection, but I have friends in high places.
#justice
Related:
I used to feel guilty for the amusement I get by saying, “Watch out, bird!” to navigationally challenged birds while driving…
But then one day I was jogging across an open field and got nailed by copious amounts of bird poop.
And I swear that bird was saying, “Watch out, human!” as he flew by.
I guess we’re kindred spirits in that way.
Commentary:
Guilty not because I’m out to get birds. Quite the contrary (birds are awesome and I am forever a friend of birds). Guilty because I feel we humans are always encroaching upon birds’ (and other animals) space. I’d feel terrible if I ever hit one — but still, I do find it amusing to say, “What out, bird!”
Related:
When I have a family, I’m going to teach my kids to always be nice to birds. And that when they grow up and have children of their own, they should teach their kids the same thing.
That way when dinosaurs finally make a comeback, they’ll have learned to trust our family like friends.
Because seriously, I wouldn’t put it past any animal that ruled the Earth for 165 million years — and still has ancestors around — from making a comeback.
It’s not a question of “if”, so much as a question of “when”. And so when it happens, we (and by we, I mean my family) will be ready.
The Zero Dean family : BFF! (Bird Friends Forever)
Related:
Nerdy thought of the day:
I wonder how bird songs have changed within species over time.
I mean does some bird just start winging it and the other birds are like, “Whoa! Listen to Carl! He’s really onto something!” or if, instead, they’re like, “Dude, you suuuuck! Get off the branch!”
And I wonder how all the other bird species feel about parrots… Which are like the ultimate ripoff artists.
This is what I wonder.
I was mistaken. These guys are the ultimate ripoff artists:
That awkward moment when you realize that when you do end up talking to a pigeon, the conversation is almost always the same as with every other pigeon you’ve ever talked to…
Me: “Watch out, pigeon!”
Pigeon: !!!
While running in the middle of nowhere, a big bird pooped on my head. And arm. And leg.
Lucky shot, bird.
[ And no, you don’t get a photo to prove it! ]
Related: