Slow going

"Must love dogs"
Dear person in the car 3 parking spaces away from mine

That awkward moment you’re at a red light and the light turns green and the person in front of you accelerates as if they are an ant pressing down on the gas pedal.

Which is, to say, very slowly.

This is almost worse than not going at all…

Because by moving, I *know* you’ve seen the light turn green. What I don’t know is why you are suddenly moving in ultra slow motion.

It’s like you’re trapped in some kind of weird time discrepancy and have fallen out of sync with the universe.

Stop doing that. Stop falling out of sync with the universe.

Light turns green. You GO.

Or you don’t go and I honk at you (politely).

There is nooo slooow moootiooon oooptiooon.

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