"Shady stuff"

For the gravity challenged
Tooth density

Sitting in my car at the edge of the gym parking lot. Windows down. Browsing the Internet on my phone.

Just got done working out.

A cop car with two officers in it drives by. Then stops.

Then turns around.

Parks directly behind me.

They get out and approach. One on each side of my vehicle.

I stick my head out my window and smile in a totally innocent fashion (probably looked totally guilty).

“You from around here?” asks the one on my side.


“You workout here?”


He takes a closer look at me, “Yeah. You look like you just worked out.”

For a moment I’m flattered.

He’s either noting my veiny arms and bulging pectoral muscles that make me look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime (possible exaggeration)…

Or the banana peel and empty protein bar wrapper in my passenger seat.

Probably the wrapper.

“We just had to check. Shady stuff happens over here.” They start to walk away.

Well that was anti-climactic.

“Wait,” I call, “What kind of shady stuff?”

He stops and turns, “Drugs. Break ins. Prostitution.”

“Oh… So I should probably park over there,” I say, pointing to the primary lot.

“If you have stuff in your car.”

“I do. Have stuff in my car.”


And I thought this was such a nice little city.



Remember that time I found a used condom in the gym parking lot

And we all thought there was a secret cardio class.

Well… I did.

Although they never did let me sign up for it no matter how many times I asked.

Read the comments on Facebook


From the comments:

Dave: Coworker and I were in Hartford, CT a couple years back starting up a new school district’s buses and going a block from the Connecticut State Capitol Building. Bus aide points out “In case you want to know, here’s where all the hookers congregate.”

Without skipping a beat, my buddy and I both said in unison, “Hey, we just got our per diem for the week!!!”

For a couple seconds I think she thought we were serious!!!

Follow up:

Zero: Funny thing is, I’ve been in this parking lot in this area quite a bit and have never seen anything shady…except that time a crow hopped onto a dude’s hood. So that’s just weird.