That awkward moment I think I should tell you I’ve been drinking.
Not a lot, mind you.
And it was just water.
But still. I feel it’s important that you know and appreciate how hydrated I am.
Hydrated. It’s the new humble.
There’s a pretty good chance that I’m more hydrated than you are.
Unless you hydrate yourself professionally.
I’m so hydrated, when fish see me, they wonder if we’re related.
And then I joke with them and say, yes, we are related.
And then I get invited to fish parties where half the fish forget who I am every time they turn around.
Because they have really short term memories.
So I have to keep introducing myself.
Fish parties aren’t that much fun, actually.
When people ask me how hydrated I am, I like to blow their minds by saying, “About an 8.”
And then I just walk away.
I’m so hydrated that sometimes I sweat liquid. Like when it’s hot.
Or I’m sitting on a *fake leather seat cushion.
*Genuine imitation leather. Excuse me.
In all seriousness, let my posts about hydration be a reminder that most people don’t drink nearly enough water every day.
Coffee, alcoholic beverages, energy drinks, carbonated beverages, and pretty much anything that isn’t _just_ water doesn’t count (so much).
So drink up and hydrate, yo.