How progress bars work

When I talk about being single on Facebook, my ads get awesome.
Dear Life, I love you.

When I upload images to my storefront on Redbubble, there’s a large horizontal progress bar that moves across the screen until completion.

The thing I’ve noticed is this:

When I actively watch the progress bar, it seems to move at a relatively constant pace.

But when I click to another tab, do a little work, and then click back, the progress bar speeds up momentarily.

I’m sure there is an “explanation” for such a thing, but here’s what I think is really happening:

The moment I click to another tab, the progress bar looks around, realizes no one is watching, and goes:

“Yessss! He’s gone! Time to kick back and relax! Don’t mind if I do. Where are my nachos?”

And then I pop back in suddenly to check on the progress and it’s like,

“Oh sh*t! You’re back early! Hi. Yeah, we’re — uh — really working hard here! Look how fast we’re working!”

Except he’s got nacho cheese on his fingers and stains around his mouth. And there are definitely signs of a party.

Yeah, that’s what’s happening. I just know it.

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