Ha! Sniffle! Ha!

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For incredibly manly coffee drinkers only

I rewrote my online dating profile recently because I wanted to basically remove myself from the dating scene, while also allocating a bit of space to encourage others…

If this “review” I just got is any indication, I think I did my job:

“I just wanted to say that your profile made me laugh, then cry, then laugh again…thank you for that!”

Awww yeah. Once again making girls cry. And laugh. And laugh. (Not necessarily in that order).

Read the comments on Facebook

Because people asked, here’s the “In your own words” portion of my profile as it currently reads. Note, this is the more serious bit (I’m still working on a way to share the funnier bits).

This used to be a tiny part of my old profile, which I expanded upon recently when I decided to not renew my membership. My lifestyle isn’t particularly conducive to dating right now — although I’m not opposed it. It’s just… tricky.

Well, my membership did get renewed (whoops), but I’ve decided to leave it. On one level, it doesn’t really say much about me. But on another, it probably speaks more about me than most profiles.

In any case, what it’s really about is hope.

Whether it’s via online dating or not, the right person will come along when the time is right.

Sometimes we need time away from the person we are meant to be with in order to grow into the people we are meant to be. And we need challenges to help make us stronger.

It may help to remember that everything we experience in life helps prepare us for the next thing and contrast is good!

So even if you’ve had some bad dates, that only means you will be that much more grateful and appreciative when a truly can’t-stop-smiling-about-it with butterflies-in-your-stomach one comes along.

I mean, you’re not looking for just anyone, are you? You’re looking for that one in a million guy. The guy for you. The one that makes you feel so many good things at once that you feel like your heart will burst.

So don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because a guy “isn’t all that bad” or he’s kinda cute or he has lots of money that he’s the one. Those things are superficial and they’re nothing to base a real long-lasting relationship on.

Because there truly ARE still good guys out there. Yes, even on match.

There are guys who will actually communicate and express themselves. Guys who know how to not only treat women well, but everyone (and it’s not a chore or an artificial gesture, it’s a way of life). There are guys who like adventure and trying new things.

There are guys who won’t be an emotional drain or take you for granted. There are guys with passion and ambition who want to make the world a better place — particularly the world you create and share together.

There are still guys who know that the most valuable things in life can’t be bought. There are guys with big hearts, in touch with their feelings, but who aren’t wimpy push-overs either.

There are guys who will make you laugh until your sides hurt. Guys who will stay up until the wee hours of the morning discussing anything and everything of interest — because they want to.

There are guys who will actually care about you as a person and who don’t just want to date you for your looks. And guys who will make you feel safe. And guys who will just naturally make you want to be a better person.

Of course, no one is perfect, but guys like this DO exist. So don’t believe anyone who wants to convince you otherwise. Don’t let someone who doesn’t believe that this kind of magic exists convince you of the same. Because it does exist. But if you don’t believe it, you’ll never see it.

There is a guy out there who will make you feel incredible in just the right ways. Someone with whom you feel like you are an unstoppable team. A person you can see yourself growing old with — with pleasure.

But sometimes things don’t just land on our laps exactly when we want them to.

So please, if you’re almost fed up with looking — or you’ve had a series of awful dates and think dating sucks or guys in general just suck (and yeah, a lot of them do, but not all of them) and you think there’s no one out there for you — don’t you believe it. Because there is.

And remember, random GOOD things DO happen to people ALL the time! And you’re not just looking for ANY guy. So be patient. Be positive. And don’t settle. You’ll be so much happier for it in the long run.

And also, don’t forget to SMILE.

Your smile is your gift to the world. And no matter how attractive you are to start, it makes you infinitely more so. Your smile (not those other body parts) is what will melt the heart that matters.