Reaching new heights

reaching-new-heights-zero-dean

That awkward moment you notice that — although you may only be 5’10” anywhere else — the door markers at the Circle K you’re in indicate you’re a solid 6 feet tall.

So yeah, ladies… if you’re looking for a tall man, I’m the man you’re looking for…

at this Circle K. And this Circle K only.

Phoenix, Arizona.

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Numb soldier

numb-soldier-zero-dean

That awkward moment you have dry lips, but all you can find is Brave Soldier Antiseptic healing ointment.

That even more awkward moment you forget that it has a pretty strong numbing agent and now all you can feel below your nose and above your neck is nothing.

Groovy.

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Nerds!

nerds-zero-dean

That awkward moment while in the course of texting a potential online date you send her a link to a Wikipedia article.

And she texts you back with, “Did you really just text me a link to Wikipedia?”

I said yes…

…and never heard from her again.

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From the comments:

Carissa: so, this begs the question: what was the article about?

Zero: I did this m/ and she asked what that was. Tried to explain. Failed. Resorted to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_of_the_horns

David: She doesn’t know that? How old was she, were you going to take out for psketti? Good thing you didn’t break out the double horns m/-_-m/ or you’d have some real explaining to do!

Now with 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more!

now-with-25-percent-more-zero-dean

I will soon be 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more mysterious than I am now.

Muahahaha!

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Zeddy™ Nominated

Andrew Shelden:

“My geeky math:

Margie says 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more mysterious -> 100{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} + 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} = 125{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} (or 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more interesting)

I say 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more mysterious means only 75{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} as “revealing” -> 100{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474}/75{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474}=133{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} or 33{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more interesting.

You see how I did that? Impress your friends with stupid math tricks.”

Chris Wisor:

Your math just locked up my brain! Can you reduce that to Zero’s and One’s so I can understand?

Andrew Shelden:

Margi says: 1100100 + 11001 =1111101
Andrew says : 1100100/1001011 = 10000101

Chris Wisor:

AWESOME!!!!!! He used REAL binary. Andrew today, YOU are the MAN!

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If your day isn't great yet…

if-your-day-isnt-great-yet-zero-dean

Good morning friends!

If your day isn’t great yet, please take a moment to picture a monkey in pajamas, with a fez on, wearing clown shoes, and playing video games with a man dressed as a banana.

And the monkey is winning.

That works for me every time, without exception, except the times it doesn’t work at all… because the banana guy totally cheats. O_O

I think my imagination might be defective.

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