Reaching new heights


That awkward moment you notice that — although you may only be 5’10” anywhere else — the door markers at the Circle K you’re in indicate you’re a solid 6 feet tall.

So yeah, ladies… if you’re looking for a tall man, I’m the man you’re looking for…

at this Circle K. And this Circle K only.

Phoenix, Arizona.

See the comments on Facebook.


Numb soldier


That awkward moment you have dry lips, but all you can find is Brave Soldier Antiseptic healing ointment.

That even more awkward moment you forget that it has a pretty strong numbing agent and now all you can feel below your nose and above your neck is nothing.


See the comments on Facebook.





That awkward moment while in the course of texting a potential online date you send her a link to a Wikipedia article.

And she texts you back with, “Did you really just text me a link to Wikipedia?”

I said yes…

…and never heard from her again.

See the comments on Facebook.


From the comments:

Carissa: so, this begs the question: what was the article about?

Zero: I did this m/ and she asked what that was. Tried to explain. Failed. Resorted to

David: She doesn’t know that? How old was she, were you going to take out for psketti? Good thing you didn’t break out the double horns m/-_-m/ or you’d have some real explaining to do!

Now with 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more!


I will soon be 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more mysterious than I am now.


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Zeddy™ Nominated

Andrew Shelden:

“My geeky math:

Margie says 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more mysterious -> 100{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} + 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} = 125{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} (or 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more interesting)

I say 25{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more mysterious means only 75{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} as “revealing” -> 100{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474}/75{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474}=133{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} or 33{82b2ded5ae086bbe31c001f0374079c9503b180ae813ec027549eb44365a9474} more interesting.

You see how I did that? Impress your friends with stupid math tricks.”

Chris Wisor:

Your math just locked up my brain! Can you reduce that to Zero’s and One’s so I can understand?

Andrew Shelden:

Margi says: 1100100 + 11001 =1111101
Andrew says : 1100100/1001011 = 10000101

Chris Wisor:

AWESOME!!!!!! He used REAL binary. Andrew today, YOU are the MAN!

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If your day isn't great yet…


Good morning friends!

If your day isn’t great yet, please take a moment to picture a monkey in pajamas, with a fez on, wearing clown shoes, and playing video games with a man dressed as a banana.

And the monkey is winning.

That works for me every time, without exception, except the times it doesn’t work at all… because the banana guy totally cheats. O_O

I think my imagination might be defective.

See the comments on Facebook.