Let me repeat that…


I wonder if the people who press their car horns for an excessive amount of time are the same people who continue repeating themselves long after they’ve made their point. O_o

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Originally published on: Oct 27, 2013 @ 10:24

Google this!


I like to add an exclamation point to the end of all my google searches — like I’m really SUPER EXCITED about it!

I sense that the search engine understands how important the search results will be and takes my search more seriously.

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Originally published on: Oct 13, 2012 @ 18:55

Nose Trespassing


Weird thought of the morning:

They say that you shouldn’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong…

And yet, I don’t think I have ever seen a sign indicating one way or the other where my nose should or shouldn’t go.

So for now, I’m taking a very non-committal approach and just leaving it where it is.

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Originally published on: Nov 11, 2013 @ 10:58

Cookie biz


I’ve finally decided that I want in on this Girl Scout cookies thing.

As such, it is my pleasure to announce that I am founding the Giant Female Cyborg Pirate Ninja Cookie Company – or GFCPNCC for short.

I should also point out, it’s our cookies that are giant, not our female cyborg pirate ninjas (those are just regular size).

Giant or not, those Girl Scouts don’t stand a chance against the GFCPNCC army! Muahahaha!

Also, I’m pretty sure our cookies will be reasonably delicious.

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Originally published on: Oct 3, 2014 @ 12:42

Something out of a dream


Weird thought of the morning:

I don’t really think about celebrities all that much, which is why I find it odd that I seem to always be running into them in my dreams.

Last night, after parking my 4Runner in a snowy parking lot at a ski resort, I walked in to find Justin Timberlake sitting at a comfortable corner lounge table with his macbook.

Anyway, we ended up having an interesting casual conversation.

And I’m thinking, “What the heck am I doing at a ski lodge talking to Justin Timberlake!?”

And then I started thinking, what if the people in your dreams that you don’t recognize are real people, too, but they’re simply non-celebrities.

Oh man, what if we’re all playing bit parts in each other’s dreams and we don’t even know it. O_O

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Originally published on: Oct 26, 2013 @ 09:30

Passive aggressive notes


I think passive aggressive notes written in invisible ink would be like the most passive aggressive notes possible.

“How come you don’t take my notes seriously?”
“What notes?”
“The ones I keep leaving you!”
“The post-it notes you keep leaving around the house? They’re blank.”
“No, they’re not blank, genius! They’re written in invisible ink.”
“Well what do they say?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know.”
“But I don’t know!”
“Well you should!”

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Originally published on: Oct 19, 2014 @ 14:22