I need a real universal remote

i-need-a-real-universal-remote-zero-dean

Sometimes I wish life had a quick “undo” button — you know, for silly things like spilling coffee on your laptop (I hear that happens).

But I also wish it had a “replay” for those times you want to experience something again and again and again.

But… I guess that’s what memories are for.

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And I quote

and-i-quote-zero-dean

“That awkward moment you realize that almost Anything in quotes followed by a dash with a name after it automatically makes the person who said it seem smarter.” — Zero Dean

Muahahaha!

Muahahaha!

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Waiting for my superpowers to kick in.

waiting-for-my-superpowers-to-kick-in-zero-dean

I got bitten on the neck by some kind of insect.

And now I’m just waiting for my superpowers to kick in so I know what kind of bug it was.

Hopefully something super cool… Maybe super ant strength or praying mantis ninja skills!

All I know is that I just don’t want to turn into the Fly guy who buzzes around eating poop. That would be a, uh, crappy superpower.

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My novel idea for a novel

my-novel-idea-for-a-novel-zero-dean

It’s official! I have the means to write a novel. On my phone! It’s called “predictive text”.

Here’s a sample:

“Once upon a time when you have any problems with your friends and colleagues, you can get a free Gmail address so you don’t have to be a little bit more than a few days ago.

I have a great way to get your hands on the Internet and the best way for you to be in touch with the latest version of the best of luck.

What the most important thing is to provide the following information to help you find out how much money you owe me. Just let me know if you
are looking for a new job and I will be able to make sure that your order is processed.”

Ok, so it has a couple kinks, but I’ll get an editor! Muahahaha!

Chapter 2…

*This was actual unaltered predictive text.

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