Weird thought of the day:
I think the world would be quite different if more people were named Humpty.
Weird thoughts & genius ideas
Got flair?
I’m Thinking about growing a 70’s porn star mustache.
I think it might help.
It’ll be Like flair for my face.
Leaf blowers
I think leaf blowers as a necessary landscaping tool are a total scam.
I always see landscaping teams take several minutes to “leaf blow” an area, but I never see the leaf blowers actually do anything that will last more than 5 minutes — other than wake people up.
Just saying.
Related:
Date movies
That awkward moment you realize that what is often considered cute and romantic in “date movies” would likely result in a restraining order in real life.
None
I’ve decided I’m not going to make any decisions today.
Honking
Has it been established that when you honk at someone for doing something annoying, the longer you honk, the more you’re expressing – to that person and everyone within earshot – how much they annoy you?
Just checking…
Because people who honk for an excessively, long time annoy me, but I know how to show it.
*Special nod to Mitch “I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.” Hedberg
Important question!
This is extremely important!
How long do I have to chew a 5 calorie piece of gum before I have a calorie deficit?
The zombie walk
I think that zombies walk the way they do because their quads hurt.
Mute
Some days I really wish we had an “internal dialogue override button”.
Related:
Party crasher
Which one of you fine people is having a holiday party?
You don’t have to invite me…
Just tell me when and where it is.