It's a sickness.

Thanks to Andy at SoCal SkateShop for his patience while trying to appease my peculiar ZERO fetish… Hat, T-shirt, stickers, patches…

Uh huh. I’m THAT guy.

And you don’t think I could’ve walked out of there without my very own 24″x36″ ZERO banner (not pictured), do you?

It’s a sickness. It really is…

But seriously, I wonder if it’s a tax write-off… brand advertising. Hmmm.


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And then there's always the new guy…

And then there’s always the new guy…

Walk up to cafe counter. New guy takes my order. Rings me up. Looks at my card. Reads my name..


Looks at me.


I smile and nod.

“That’s your name?”


“You must have…” he pauses, as if not sure he wants to commit to it.

I wait for it…

“…interesting parents.”


Not as bad as I was expecting.

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Me to infinity


Walk up to cafe counter. Cashier greets me.

“Hi, Zero.”
She hands me my coffee cup, “Is your name short for anything?”
“Yup. It’s short for infinity.”

She blinks…

“You know, Zero One Two Three… it never ends, it just keeps going forever.”

And finally she laughs. Which is good, because, believe or not, this was an answer I’d never given before.

New name material is always good.

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Rewards card ricochet

Walk up to cafe counter. Greeted by older woman who scans my rewards card.

“Your name is Zero … *she looks at me, then back at the register * …and you have $1 off a kid’s meal.”

“Yes, that’s true. My name is Zero. And I have $1 off a kid’s meal. Thank you.”

She smiles.


One person at a time. That works for me.

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Where everybody knows my name

In cafe.

It’s a new manager’s first day.

He’s been here a couple hours, but one of the other managers decides to give him an official tour of the facilities.

To my surprise — I am the first stop on the tour.

“And first — this here”, he says gesturing in my direction, “is Zero. Zero, this is Chris.”

“Hi Chris. Nice to meet you,” I smile. “Yes, I am a semi-permanent fixture here.”

“Nice to meet you… Yearo?”

“Zero. Like the number! If you’re ever in doubt, you can just read the sticker on my laptop.”

“Got it! I’m Chris. Big Chris.” (Chris is very tall and has a handshake like a bull. A hoofshake, if you will.)

Introductions out of the way, they proceed to the next stop on the tour, the outside patio section where Chris was introduced to the little black bird bread beggar gang (a flighty lot, that bunch).

Anyway, I must say, it’s kind of nice to be in a place where everybody knows your name.

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RE: Where Everybody Knows Your Name (video)