Ladies, when picking out an online dating username, “FutureEx” doesn’t really inspire much confidence in the relationship dept.
So on the eve of the Apocalypse, a girl just expressed interest in me on Match, so I wrote her this letter…
Either I am a comedic genius or an offensive ignoramus — and sometimes you just don’t know where the line is until you cross it.
But hey — when you get me, you get ME. Social blunders and all.
But seriously — I DO love women with a sense of humor…
Noun: A married woman whose main occupation is caring for her family, managing household affairs, and doing housework.
Dear FB ads, Why on Earth would I want to date a married woman!?
Wait a second…
* Checks the Guy’s Guide to Guys™ *
Mmmmmm… Never mind.
We’re all good here.
That awkward moment while in the course of texting a potential online date you send her a link to a Wikipedia article.
And she texts you back with, “Did you really just text me a link to Wikipedia?”
I said yes…
…and never heard from her again.
From the comments:
Carissa: so, this begs the question: what was the article about?
Zero: I did this m/ and she asked what that was. Tried to explain. Failed. Resorted to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_of_the_horns
David: She doesn’t know that? How old was she, were you going to take out for psketti? Good thing you didn’t break out the double horns m/-_-m/ or you’d have some real explaining to do!