Sometimes doors swing both ways.

About to exit sandwich shop. See woman with walker on sidewalk. She is accompanied by maybe her daughter.

Crutches under my arms, I try to get to the door to hold it open.

The daughter gets to the door before me and holds it open instead.

I wait and ask, “You coming in?”

‘Oh, no. We’re just passing by. Thought you could use a hand.’

Smiles all around.


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Yesterday: Just because I can do it myself…


Subway memories

Walk into Subway. It’s a slow night. The two college kids working are cleaning.

I decide to make a memory…

I clap my hands and shout, “Let’s make some sandwiches, people!

They both laugh.

“I’m excited! Are you excited!? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

“The usual?” one asks, while chuckling.

“No! We’re switching it up tonight!” I scan the board… “What’s the most exciting bread you have!?”

We all look at the breads…

“Looks like the ‘Jalapeño Cheddar’!”

“I was just going to say that!”, one of them says.

“Then Jalapeño Cheddar it shall be!”

I’ll spare you all the sandwich making details, but it pretty much continued like this to the end.

They were both alert and smiling ear to ear by then.

But probably also wondering…

What the hell just happened!?

Mission accomplished.

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The little blonde boy and the big cookie

Sitting in a cafe. Little blonde boy and his dad come in for a cookie.

The little boy politely picks out the one he wants (a giant cookie covered in m&ms) — then they both sit at the table next to mine.

The little boy sits cross legged, grabs the cookie with both hands like a sandwich, and proceeds to eat it. Big smile on his face.

The dad just sits there enjoying the moment. A twinkle in his eye.

Then, when the little boy is finished, he hops out of his chair, walks over to his dad and gives him a big long hug.

The dad sits there, puts his arm on his son’s back, and savors the moment.

They barely spoke the entire time, but a lot was said.

It’s truly touching moments like these that melt my heart.

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The cute couple

Parked in the middle of a lot. Sunny day. Windows down. Eating my lunch.

A couple in a red car pull up one space over from mine. This is unusual because there are plenty of spaces open that are closer to the shops. I park at a distance to enjoy the walk.

The passenger door opens. It’s a woman in bright clothes. And she’s cracking up. Huge laugh. Barely able to get out of the car.

Man on the other side gets out and walks around. She’s now grabbing some shopping bags from the back seat. Still giggling.

He asks if he can help her carry anything. She politely declines. He says some smart ass response — which I don’t quite hear — but she starts to laugh again.

They look over and smile as they walk past my car. I already have a smile on my face.

I watch them as they make their way slowly, but surely towards the shops.

And I think, “I want to be like that couple when I’m in my 80’s, too.”

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Walk up to cafe counter. Greeted by cashier.

“Good to see you again.”
‘Good to see you.’

“What can I get you?”
‘How about a coffee in a medium to-go cup?’

“How about I give you a large but only charge you for a small?”, she smiles.

— And this is where my apparent mental illness kicks in, and all I want to say is THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! —

But she’s standing there smiling at me — and despite the nearly irresistible urge to completely ruin what is a perfectly good moment, I simply smile back and say, ‘That would be very nice! Thank you.’

“My pleasure.”

That’s what she said.

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The camera adds 10 pounds


That awkward moment you realize that the reason that “the camera adds 10 pounds” is because additional weight was considered more attractive back when cameras were invented.

As such, this 10 pounds of perceived weight gain was actually built into the camera designon purpose! — and everyone has paid the on-camera weight toll ever since!

Now, there is a lot of history — and a huge legacy — behind this original design decision, so I don’t think it will ever be reversed, but I am now trying to get all future camera specifications updated so at least the extra 10 pounds we accumulate on-camera is perceived as a gain in lean muscle mass.

You’re welcome.

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Banana chips


Walking down the dried goods aisle of Trader Joe’s.

A staff member has a clipboard out and appears to be taking inventory of a particular product.

As I approach, he makes a sudden gesture, tapping one of the bags at the edge of the shelf. It makes a crinkle sound.

Without hesitation, I immediately mimic his move and tap the bag next to it with my fist.

He then looks at me, as if thinking, “Did that just happen?”

I look back and say, “What? — I was only doing what you were doing!”

I turn and fist-bump another bag, “What’s up, banana chips!?”

He bursts out laughing.

Mission accomplished.

And that’s how I became known as the banana chip fist-bumping guy at Trader Joe’s.

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