The doorman


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Dear Universe,

I will continue to open or hold doors for people regardless of how many times I fail to be acknowledged…

But I appreciate the discipline it’s teaching me to not want to say, “You’re welcome!” and smack them on the back of the head. ;)

*Never let the selfish or ungrateful actions of a few spoil it for the many.

Regardless of whether you’re acknowledged or not, your acts of kindness help set a good example for others to follow.

And if you are truly acting out of kindness, it isn’t for the “thanks” or the acknowledgement. It’s simply because you want to.

And the world could always use more kindness and more good examples. So don’t stop.

Whether you’re acknowledged or not, your kindness is far more appreciated than you realize.

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Dear person who invented the word “yacht”…

I thacht you acht to know that I think it’s nacht hacht how you spelled yacht and I think you acht to be shacht for spelling it that way.

Whacht? O_o

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Originally published on: Oct 13, 2011 @ 11:29

Dear grammar checking program I just installed


Dear grammar checking program I just installed,

I don’t need you be underlinging words and making suggestions and sheet. Y’all is making me second guess myself.

Imma just ignore you.

My My grammar be fine! Spelling too fool! O_O

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From the comments:

Corey: That damn paper clip from Microsoft Word is the reason I can’t sleep at night…horrendous nightmares

Zero: The paper clip from Microsoft has fallen on some hard times.

Originally published on: Sep 23, 2014 @ 17:08

Disc Golf.


Dear Facebook Ads,

Thank you for pointing out my singleness and suggesting that I:

“Meet local women that love to disc golf.”

I’m not saying that wouldn’t be awesome, but seriously — I’ve got much sexier “likes” than THAT.

For example…



You win this round.

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Originally published on: Feb 7, 2012 @ 12:20