Dear Diary,
I’ve always wondered, do you have a last name, or do you just go by Diary?
I don’t have any other friends named Diary. Although I do have one friend named Duffy, and that’s kind of close. I mean, it starts with a D.
– Zero
Dear (somebody)
A case of mistaken identity
Dear Diary,
I caught someone reading me today at Yellowstone National Park.
It felt awkward.
But it was not nearly as awkward as when I walked up and said, “Holey gloves, Batman!”
They were not Batman.
Dear energy drink + pain reliever
Dear energy drink + pain reliever,
I am ready for your magic potion like qualities to take effect.
Please.
Dear stuff
Dear stuff,
It would be a lot easier for me to find you if you would simply stay where I think I put you rather than wander off to some other location.
Stop doing that.