What's up


Although I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself clumsy, I am occasionally a pretty “loose navigator”. As such, I sometimes bump into things.

My confession of the day is this:

Sometimes I bump into things and then I say, “What’s up?” as if that thing bumped into me.

Bump into a door: “What’s up, door?”
Bump into a tree: “What’s up, tree?”
Bump into a doctor: “What’s up, Doc?”

As far as inanimate objects go, it usually doesn’t progress any further than that.

Although there’s this one time I got taken out by a branch, in a jungle, at about 20 MPH, in Australia, on horseback, in crocodile country.

I ended up on my back with a lump on my shoulder the size of a golf ball. And the horse, although it didn’t actually stop after hitting the tree, ended up with a cut lip.

That was one heck of a tree.

Like they say, everything in Australia is trying to kill you. Although I can’t tell if it was the horse or the tree in this case.

True story.

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The hook brings you back


Confession of the day:

I can’t help but be mildly disappointed in myself anytime I find myself really enjoying a song that has nonsensical lyrics.

Worse is when you catch yourself actually singing them, even if only in your head. O_o

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This song explains everything… (Hook by Blues Traveler)

Hook Lyrics (excerpt)

It doesn’t matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel I’ll convey
Some inner truth or vast reflection
But I’ve said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don’t matter who you are
If I’m doing my job then it’s your resolve that breaks

Because the hook brings you back
I ain’t tellin’ you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely

There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don’t mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow

Was that the hook brings you back
I ain’t tellin’ you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely…


Emotion control


Confession of the day:

Sometimes I only turn up my music louder because I feel such a powerful connection to a song or lyrics that I’m willing to risk deafness in the off chance it will make what I’m feeling even stronger.

I also confess that this isn’t much of a confession. I imagine lots of people do this.

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Confession of the day:

Even though it’s often the result of being clumsy, whenever I drop something, but somehow manage to catch *whatever it is before it hits the ground, I feel like a ninja.

*Sharp, pointy, or bitey things being the exception. Those are not good to catch (although it doesn’t always stop me from trying).

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Subtlety is my middle name

Confession of the day:

I once got kicked out of a spelling bee because they asked me to spell what I heard as the word “LAM”.

So I said, “Lam?”

And they said, “Lam.”

So I spelled:

Lam. — L. A. M. — Lam.

And they said, BZZZZT! WRONG!

And I was booted from the game and discouraged from entering any more spelling bees


And, as it turns out, after all these years, I WAS RIGHT!

That IS how you spell “LAM”.


So, I just want this to be a lesson to everyone:


And I was rite! That’s the other lesion!

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Believe it!


Confession of the day:

Sometimes the only reason I try products is because when they suggest that I won’t believe something, I want to have the opportunity to prove them wrong.

“I can totally believe it’s not butter!” comes to mind.

And I bet I can *totally* believe these cookies are wheat and gluten free!


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