Humor & awkward moments by Zero Dean based on weird thoughts & real-life experiences often presented in webcomic format.
Walk into a kind of “funky”, locally owned coffee shop in Santa Monica, California.
This place has character. It’s also empty. Journey is playing on the radio. The Cashier hears me enter and greets me with a smile.
As I go to order, she puts her hand up and says, “Hold on. We’re having a ‘Journey moment’.”
I stand and smile. Moments pass. We just stand there. And finally The song winds down…
“Ok”, she smiles, “How can I help you?”
It.was.perfect.
Related:
Standing in the self-serve coffee section in Panera Bread.
A server walks up, “Whatchoo drinkin’ on?”
“Hazelnut”
“Lemme gitchoo a freshun”
“Ok!”.
He walks off and comes back a few moments later, “Canna fit much innis cup!” he says, pointing at my cup, “You wanna bigguh cup?”
“Naw, I’m good, but thank you!”
Super friendly guy. And sincere. That was pretty cool. I’m not making fun of his speech. It’s just his speech WAS FUN. Happy dude. :)
From the comments:
Ashley Renee Burke: One of the many reasons to love the south
Zero: Yeah… and we weren’t at a register. He was just refilling coffee when I was there. He went in back and got me fresh Hazelnut… and then offered to swap my cup for a larger one. People like that brighten my day…I just want to hang out with them. ;)
In cafe. Cashier swipes my card. Then looks at it.
“Your real name is Zero?”
“Yes. It really is.”
“Your parents were creative.”
“Indeed.”
There is a sort of awkward silence and she registers what I’ve said.
And then she looks up, “And no one ever picked on you about your name?”
O_o
There is a very loud Asian man doing his business in the Panera Bread bathroom. Literally. Sounds like he’s on a conference call.
Kelly Green Crume: Seriously, are the Panera Bread people following you on here yet? They should be. BTW, LOL on the status!
Nuria Roach-Casares: He probably is making a conference call..or should I say, outsourcing!!!
November 16, 2010
I wasn’t making this up. There was a man (with no volume control) in the bathroom stall very clearly talking to people at a company. :)
Customer just told a cashier/server at this cafe that “she looked like a Barbie Doll on acid”. She took it well.
She does have green dye stripes in her hair though… but she’s cute.
Gorgeous green eyes & finger nails painted to look like lady bugs.
Overheard in this cafe:
“I have good kids. It’s just that some of them are slightly bent.”
In cafe. Getting coffee.
Cashier rings me up and sees my name. And without hesitation, “You should name your kid One.”
I told him I did.
He was very impressed.
So it was a bit of a letdown when I told him I was still kid-less.
After a woman and I discussed sharing my (flaky) power outlet, I overhear her telling her female friend — who suggested sitting elsewhere — “Oh no — this is the most accommodating man ever. I WANT to be near him.” :)
Made me laugh. (I simply told her she could plug into my power splitter if her outlet didn’t work right.)
A little Indian girl with an orange bow, rainbow pants, pink shoes, purple & teal striped socks, and a pink, gray, and white striped jacket thinks I am the most fascinating person in this cafe besides her parents — she keeps walking over and staring.
She is also one of the most colorful children I have ever seen.
‘This happens everywhere I go!’
Grandmother: “Oh really? Well, you have a very happy smiling face.”
‘It doesn’t matter where I sit, they always find me.’
2 year old long haired blue eyed blonde boy who is turned around to stare and smile at me: (verbalized) “Ha.” “Ha.” “Ha.” “Ha.” — “Fire pole”.