Amazon prime

amazon-prime-zero-dean

That awkward moment you can’t help but feel a little disappointed that the amazon.com package you didn’t order doesn’t arrive two days after you didn’t order it.

*Note to self:

You can put as many things in your shopping cart as you want, but if you don’t actually buy them, there’s a good chance they won’t arrive.

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Holy jumper cables!

holy-jumper-cables-zero-dean

That awkward moment sitting in your car in the gym parking lot (drinking your pre-workout drink) and a woman comes up and asks you if you have jumper cables. And you do.

And she’s elated because she’s been walking around for 10 minutes asking people.

So you help jump start her car.

And when you are finished she thanks Jesus.

But doesn’t thank you.

O_o

Now listen, I’m always happy to help, but it feels a bit strange to do all the work and then someone else gets all the credit.

I should’ve told her that Jesus is the one who left her lights on.

I’m the guy who had the cables and jumpstarted her car.

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The lefty

the-lefty-zero-dean

At cafe.

One of the regulars and his wife walk in.

He sees me, smiling, “I see you’re a lefty today.”

No idea what he means, “What?”

“You parked your car in the other row today!”

Laughing, “You’re right!”

That awkward moment the former Mayor of the city not only knows what vehicle you drive, he knows where you typically park it.

O_O

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OMG I’m melting

omg-im-melting-zero-dean

That awkward moment your celebrity crush favorites your tweet.

I feel all warm & fuzzy.

OOOOMMMMGGGG!!! SHE’S SOOOOOOO AMAZING!

*Ok, she probably favorites everyone’s tweets. Doesn’t matter. I still love her.

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Ms. Interpreter

ms-interpreter-zero-dean

That awkward moment you say something and then someone disagrees with it by telling you their interpretation of what you said…

But it isn’t what you said. They simply misunderstood you. So you tell them:

“No, that isn’t what I’m saying.”

But they’re so upset by their misinterpretation of what you didn’t actually say, that they still want to argue with you about it knowing full well it isn’t what you said.

*Reminds me of this meme:

“I’m responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.”

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Read/write error

read-write-error-zero-dean

That awkward moment you spend the day wanting gum, but you don’t have any gum because you forgot to get some.

Only to discover that you’re an idiot.

Because you didn’t forget to get gum, you simply forgot that you got it.

So you actually spent the entire day wanting something you had with you the entire time.

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