That awkward moment you’re sitting at a table in a bookstore and an old man, sitting at a table next to you, is reading a book on Microsoft Windows and repeatedly muttering, “You have to be f****ing kidding me.”
Coincidence?
I think not.
Related:
awkward moments
Negotiating a meal price at Subway.
That awkward moment you witness a customer negotiate the price of his meal with the east Indian owner of a Subway.
Also, the owner doesn’t cut his nails.
I mean like ever.
O_O
Cheese balls
That awkward moment you discover where cheese balls come from.
Reaching new heights
That awkward moment you notice that — although you may only be 5’10” anywhere else — the door markers at the Circle K you’re in indicate you’re a solid 6 feet tall.
So yeah, ladies… if you’re looking for a tall man, I’m the man you’re looking for…
at this Circle K. And this Circle K only.
Phoenix, Arizona.
The surreal world
That awkward moment you’re having dinner in a “Western” themed restaurant in Bryce Canyon…
And there’s a blizzard outside. And your server is Ukrainian and you are surrounded by Japanese tourists.
It’s a bit surreal.
Numb soldier
That awkward moment you have dry lips, but all you can find is Brave Soldier Antiseptic healing ointment.
That even more awkward moment you forget that it has a pretty strong numbing agent and now all you can feel below your nose and above your neck is nothing.
Groovy.
Related:
Nerds!
That awkward moment while in the course of texting a potential online date you send her a link to a Wikipedia article.
And she texts you back with, “Did you really just text me a link to Wikipedia?”
I said yes…
…and never heard from her again.
From the comments:
Carissa: so, this begs the question: what was the article about?
Zero: I did this m/ and she asked what that was. Tried to explain. Failed. Resorted to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_of_the_horns
David: She doesn’t know that? How old was she, were you going to take out for psketti? Good thing you didn’t break out the double horns m/-_-m/ or you’d have some real explaining to do!
Priceless
Forgetting your gym towel: $0.
Using your shirt as a towel after showering at the gym: $0.
Taking a right turn out of the men’s showers into the co-ed pool area instead of taking a left back into the men’s locker room: $priceless.
It’s a good thing my mind is so preoccupied this morning, that might’ve been embarrassing.
A case of mistaken identity
Dear Diary,
I caught someone reading me today at Yellowstone National Park.
It felt awkward.
But it was not nearly as awkward as when I walked up and said, “Holey gloves, Batman!”
They were not Batman.
Date movies
That awkward moment you realize that what is often considered cute and romantic in “date movies” would likely result in a restraining order in real life.