That awkward moment you’re approached by a woman who says, “Excuse me. I don’t mean to bother you, but you look like you’re good with computers…”
Because yeah, I am good with computers — but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to give off the kind of vibe that when a woman looks at me she thinks, “That guy right there! That guy looks really good with computers.”
I’ve decided that in order to increase my eccentricity factor, from this day forth, instead of simply ordering anything like a normal person, I shall now request [descriptive name of item] plus the word “action”.
For example, if I want coffee, I shall now order “hot coffee action”.
If I want a bagel, I shall request “sweet blueberry bagel action”.
It took me a while to get to this point, but now that I’m on the brink of making this transition, it just feels right.
Awww yeah. We’ve got some eccentric decision making action going on right here.
Whenever I’m standing somewhere and people ask me if I’m in line, I always say “yes, I’m in line” even if I’m not in line for whatever they’re probably in line for.
I do this just in case they’re about to start a line for something I could potentially be in line for. Because, frankly, I could potentially be in line for a lot of things and I want to make absolutely sure that whatever those potential things might be, I’m the first one in line for them.