The trick to getting as many free food samples at Costco as possible is to insist you have a twin.
Invisible alien ships leave traces. ;)
Today’s research includes…
“Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events as meaningfully related, where they are unlikely to be causally related. The subject sees it as a meaningful coincidence.” — Wikipedia
Even though I use Splenda — which I figure is probably terrible for you– I always put a little real sugar (also terrible for you) in my coffee in the morning — just so I can say, “Gimme some sugar, baby”.
Now, this would be even more fun if there was a real baby available to, you know, give me some real sugar.
This just arrived in my inbox:
“Hi there sweet! Will you object to acquainting with a young and interesting lady of 25? I am Yevgeniya. I.m from Ukraine. Have you ever heard that the most beautiful women in the world live in my country? Check it yourself!
I invite you to a very good international family life. agency where hundreds of lonely people are looking for their future friends and lovers. I dream about acquainting with a charming one for serious relations or even family life..
Are you the one?”
Dearest Yevgeniya —
Thank you so much for your lovely email. I don’t know how you found me, but I consider your email the “sign” I’ve been looking for. I would be most interested in acquainting with a young and interesting lady of 25. Especially if the women in your country are as beautiful as you say.
And to answer your question, yes I have, in fact heard rumors that the most beautiful women in the world live in the Ukraine. I wasn’t sure if this had been proven, but I just checked the internet and it appears that not only does the Ukraine have the most beautiful women in the world, they have the most beautiful women in the Universe: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Ukraine_Universe — This is quite an achievement. Congratulations!
Needless to say, my interest is piqued, sweet!
I am very intrigued by your invitation to this “good international family life. agency where hundreds of lonely people are looking for their future friends and lovers”.
Are you suggesting that if I’m lonely that I should join this agency? — or are you suggesting I find someone lonely at this agency and befriend them? — Because, well, this is a little awkward, but I thought by the tone of your email that YOU were interested in ME — you know, because you even ask if I’m “the one”.
Because, dearest sweet, I AM THE ONE. I don’t even need a photo from you — or any other information. I’m just taking this all as a sign (a good one, darling).
And you should know — I AM looking for serious relations or even family life — but not both. So you are welcome to take your pick. So you let me know, darling. The ball is in your court.
There might be a blog entry here — or there might not. This entirely depends on a random event which may or may not have happened.
If there is a blog entry here, I hope you’ll enjoy it — because I probably put a lot of time into it, like I usually do.
And if there isn’t a blog entry here — thank (or don’t thank) Schrödinger.
Love, your buddy from the QMD (Quantum Mechanics Dept)
You know what’s awesome? This exchange:
Me: “To my FB followers who have awkwardly expressed having a “man crush” on me, I finally understand. *bows to* Danny Wallace.”
Danny Wallace: “Back atcha! I admire your excellent chutzpah!”
I don’t know what “chutzpah” is, but mine is apparently “excellent”, says THE MAN. ;)
Thank you “Mr. Wallace”. Maybe it’s just your British accent — I’ve admitted before I’m a sucker for those (I was talking about the ladies, though) — but I am enamoured.
“Who is Danny Wallace?”, you ask.
WHO is Danny Wallace!?
Danny Wallace is THE Yes Man.
You’ve heard of the movie with Jim Carey, right? Well, he’s the author — the story is his story — and forget the movie version – it’s “ok” (sorry Danny, I know it hurts — but I’m sure the paycheck was nice), but it’s not the book version and it’s not nearly as brilliant or hilarious as the (quite different) story it contains — or his other works for that matter.
Danny Wallace has been a great source of inspiration for me & provided many laughs over the past several weeks — granted, I’ve had to make do with the “digital Danny Wallace” — the pre-recorded version — not the “real-life Danny Wallace”, but that’s fine for now.
The man is a genius and the above exchange also goes to show that he hasn’t let his success go to his head. As such, Danny has officially been added to my list of awesome.
Find out what Danny Wallace is up to at DannyWallace.com
There is a very loud Asian man doing his business in the Panera Bread bathroom. Literally. Sounds like he’s on a conference call.
Kelly Green Crume: Seriously, are the Panera Bread people following you on here yet? They should be. BTW, LOL on the status!
Nuria Roach-Casares: He probably is making a conference call..or should I say, outsourcing!!!
November 16, 2010
I wasn’t making this up. There was a man (with no volume control) in the bathroom stall very clearly talking to people at a company. :)