Zero Talking
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- There has to be a law for that.
- Disc Golf.
- Good with computers
- Google this!
- Meow
- I had to be sure.
- May cause blindness
- 33 Minutes
- I took a cab…
- Wherever you are tonight…
- Joel
- Seekers are finders
- Thank you mad New Year gym rush…
- Troglodytic words
- Amalgamate
- Arachnid afterlife
- Sixty-three cents
- What a drag…
- Sitting at a taco bar…
- My exciting new hobby…
- I wonder if they'll be friends with me…
- Light fixture handyman.
- Trust me, it's for my own good…
- A pool of historical greatness
- Schrodinger’s joke
- What to expect…
- We just landed!
- I told you.
- See you tonight!
- Universal conspiracy
- No really, trust me, I'm blind…
- Holiday madness
- When it's finally my turn to be ruler of the universe…
- Dear trash in my car…
- A battle of optimism
- Salad sunshine
- Here's what's happening on Twitter
- Heightened auditory expectations
- Post apocalyptic Zen
- Good! How are you?
- You know, the world is ending tomorrow…
- Coffee mug Jedi
- The end of dirty laundry as we know it
- Apocalypse post restraint
- Apocalypse hot.
- Looking for a few good nerds.
- I survived the Y2K bug
- Oooh! A puzzle!
- Alien invas… celebration.
- The awwwpocalypse
- Dear Australia
- The Final Countdown
- E is for endorphins
- The correlation between writing and driving…
- "Hey, my friend…"
- New Year's Eve
- So, I've been meaning to tell you this…
- Handshakes from Hell
- Sprint didn't get the memo
- Wanted: A good man
- One and Two
- It's not the hours of sleep in the night…
- Toothpaste $2.99
- Weekday ninja
- Highlander Laundry
- Shark week
- My burrito…
- I had this crazy dream…
- Free shop card
- Why I need a time machine
- Dat one flaw
- Wonder twins activate!
- Salad
- Dear Diary
- The spider
- Moonwalking
- Confidence?
- Undergoing scheduled maintenance
- Housewife. Noun.
- When the bank opens…
- Adverse possession
- Everything
- If I could rearrange the alphabet…
- Eccentricity
- I finished the Internet (contains spoilers)
- Caution label
- I have questions?
- If dreams came true…
- Ridiculous claims
- Blast you, Facebook!
- Being bold
- Dirty laundry
- Sprinkling joy
- Zervivor
- ZeroDean.com : The answer to those who seek guidance
- Elevator music
- Here!
- Financial hardship
- Survivor: Jury Duty
- I just had to see if "Quit job, terminate lease & sell everything!" was on the list…
- Use the justice, Luke
- BAM!
- Rat parts
- A disturbance in the Force
- Life in the tropics
- Well that’s just Super…
- The convergence.
- A mutual understanding
- My "fame" is chronologically challenged.
- Oh, I got game…
- Zero game
- Baseball
- That awkward few moments…
- The old man at the post office.
- Oh, gravity. You so silly.
- Patience.
- Eight dollars
- Close encounters…
- Dear Universe, I love you.
- Next
- Cafe mug request.
- Surprise!
- Sign #42 that you might make a great dad.
- The Golden Gate/Bridge.
- Zero Dean: Spam Consultant.
- Cafe super hero.
- The Macbook heist.
- Subway rock climber
- Kindness mode
- Korean good luck.
- Channeling Captain Kirk
- That's what —
- PINK
- Like a moment from the movies.
- I-love-haters guy.
- Rubbernecking
- Willpower
- Lost: Oil lamp
- Out of sight, out of mind.
- Wanted: Winged horse
- I'm in a lot of bands.
- My virginity.
- Green tea.
- The best customer.
- I saw your magic.
- I just smiled and walked away.
- The forgotten haircut
- Can you smell what I'm cooking?
- We talked.
- Failing to win
- "Kick me"
- My novel idea for a novel
- Taco Shop Girl.
- My bananas!
- The great felt or straw hat poll.
- Error 28
- Pretty girls
- Father and daughter chess.
- Waiting for my superpowers to kick in.
- Flip-flop ninja
- Why does it have to be snakes!?
- Lucky shot, bird.
- Lost and found
- Ironic health food
- I think I have a drinking problem.
- You must make a lot of money!
- Laundromat washer guidelines.
- That's why I'm here.
- Ode to Tiger Balm.
- Trader Joe's Fun thyme.
- Dirty diapers?
- Beefcake.
- Las Vegas traffic
- You should be a superhero.
- Premature laughing condition is a serious condition.
- Toe shackle release party.
- Warning: Mirror.
- What's the definition of irony again?
- Back to muted colored states now.
- Water bottle talky
- The red headed attendant
- The 'good customer' discount.
- Be selective.
- Life happens
- Things that make you go 'hmmm'.
- We’ve really got to stop meeting like this.
- The biggest theme park in the world.
- Thankful for another day…
- Bravery and stupidity.
- The exchange
- The talking tree
- Best text exchange ever.
- Randomest text ever.
- "She Stood" a poem inspired by my work.
- And I quote
- I need a real universal remote
- Ha. Ha. Ha. Fire pole.