Why I need a time machine

I’m in a cafe. Sitting at a table with my laptop. An East Indian man in a suit walks up…

“Excuse me, sir — is the Internet down?”

What I wanted to say:

“Oh, no, my dear fellow. I don’t know what they’ve told you, but the Internet is UP and DOWN and all around you. The Internet is — everrrrrrrywherrrrrre!”

What I actually said:

“I’m not sure. I read the sign on the door, so I didn’t even try. I’m using my phone.”

I know — that’s not half as exciting and I wish I’d said what I was thinking!

THIS is why I NEED a time machine! Well, this and DINOSAURS!

Oh, and that time I spilled coffee on my laptop.

PS. They have a separate notice for their unvalued customers…

It simply says: No WIFI for you!

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