Wheep whoop! Aww! Aww! Aww!

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“I’m really happy that car alarm went off just now.” — said no one. Ever.

If I could go back in time, I would un-invent car alarms.

Instead, I’d invent the StunnerMatic 4000 Xtreme ™.

With this device installed, cars would simply stun anyone who was silly enough to do anything that would typically set off a car alarm. Yes, including people who set off their own car alarms. Because, heh, that’ll teach you. ;)

*Also, cars would take a snapshot of whoever they stunned (in progress) and text the photo to your phone. So if there was a thief, you’d know right away. And if it was you, you’d have an embarrassing photo of yourself to remind you not to do what you did — ever again.

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