I’ve decided that, due to misuse of the word “awesome”, we must now invent a new word for awesome to take the place of what the old word meant.
As awesome implies “awe”, I now propose various levels of awe, with “awesome” being the least awesome.
Here are the new words:
Awesome = awe some (Some awe)
This is now the standard amount of awe.
Example usage: “This toast is awesome.”
Because toast is pretty awesome when you think about it. But it’s not the most awesome thing in the world. For example, LEGOs. Toast is not as awesome as LEGOs.
Awemore = awe more (More awe)
This is slightly more awe than is standard. Like if you cleaned up awesome and put it in some nice clothes, it would be awemore.
Example usage: “This toast is awesome, but the fact it was made by a monkey in a chef’s hat is awemore!”
Because, you know, monkeys *are* awesome, but monkeys dressed in chef’s hats that can actually make toast? That’s seriously awemore.
Awemost = awe most (most awe)
This is, like, a whole lotta awe right here. It’s meant to express the most awe one can conceivably feel. Use sparingly.
Example usage: “Hey waiter, this vegetarian pot roast is phenomenal! Please tell the chef it’s “awemost good” for me!”
And because I like to allow for exceptions:
Awemax = awe max (maximum amount of awe possible)
Technically, there is no more awe possible than this (at this time).
Example usage: *sitting at a table after meeting your significant other’s parents for the first time* “Oh, Mrs X, you’re so beautiful. I can see why your offspring that I feel intimately attached to is so attractive to me. And I just love your whole vibe. It’s awemax.”