33 Minutes

33-minutes-zero-dean

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  • Goes to laundromat.
  • Puts clothes in front loading washer.
  • Puts in laundry detergent.
  • Puts in coins.
  • Notes that the wash will take 33 minutes.
  • Walks out to car.
  • Waits 33 minutes.
  • Walks back into laundromat.
  • Checks on laundry.
  • Never hit START.

BLAST YOU! PUNY MAN BRAIN!

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Themes:

From the comments:

Duffy Gillman: “Clothes, you just sit right there and think about the washing you’re going to get!”

Originally published on: Nov 8, 2012 @ 13:56

Awww yeah, like a…jerk

That awkward moment when you mean to say something nice to the pretty girl behind the counter — the one who is paying an awful lot of attention to you — but in the course of your brief chat, you finish the conversation by saying something that kind of makes you seem like a total jerk.

Note to self:

Saying “Well, good luck with that” and walking away is not a great way to finish a conversation with someone who just said “It’s going okay so far. I just started my shift.”

There’s “cute awkward” — and then there’s the awkward that makes someone want to curse your name and throw darts at your picture.

Blast yoooou silly awkwardness!

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Read moreAwww yeah, like a…jerk

Zervivor

13,110 followers… and I have to vote one of you off the island today. This is tough…

You have 1 chance for immunity, all you need to do is —

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Zeddy™ Nominated

Cho Tang: A 5DmkIII? Sh*t, I just doomed myself haven’t I?

Zero Dean: Cho Tang, I can’t tell if I should banish you from the kingdom forever, or give you immunity for even mentioning your Holy Grail of a 5DmkIII on my page. I must sit with my council. ;)

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Rat parts

rat-parts-zero-dean

Weird thought of the day (brought on by my cold induced stupor):

“When did anyone ever actually give a rat’s ass?”
“Was there a rat’s ass trading company or something?”
“Why a rat’s ass? Why not a rat’s tail? Or some other part of the rat?”

Please, if you can answer these, by all means, feel free.

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Zeddy™ Nominated

Eric Kolb:

The saying originated in the western mining town of Sheldon, New Mexico.

During the late 1800’s a prominent family headed by patriarch, Robert Rhatt, developed a new breeding method for mules which flooded the market in the town and surrounding areas.

An unfortunate side effect was mental retardation among the brood. Never-the-less, the livestock still served it purpose and sold well.

Donkey prices reached historic lows. The animal was so affordable that they would often be used for target practice after heavy drinking binges or as “company” for undesirables.

At first, the term was “I wouldn’t pay a Rhatts Ass…” referencing the mentally challenged mules pioneered by the eminent family. However, it evolved into today’s more common (miss)usage after the mining town was overwhelmed and ultimately destroyed due to an unknown disease in 1903.

Inspired by this post and comment, I founded the Rhatt’s Ass™ Trading Company:

Rhatt's Ass Trading Company

Themes:

Related:

I got a Golden ticket!

i-got-a-golden-ticket-zero-dean

I got a Golden ticket! I got a Golden ticket! … Oh, wait..

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Better view of the alleged crime…

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Zeddy™ Nominated (epic thread)

Julie McCartney: Zero’s a bad-boy! He’s so dreamy!! <3 <3 !!!

Margi Cole: I have to agree with Julie, you breaking the law is a tiny bit hot! :-0

Melinda Caroline: I just luuuuuuuuuv me a law-breakin’ man. Come ‘ere, baby. ;-)

Zero Dean: COME ON PEOPLE! 4 more comments and we break 100…

Chad Kreutzer: +3 to Zero for trying to fluff the point layout on this thread.

Melinda Caroline: I think we’ve already demonstrated that breaking the law is extremely popular… and weirdly attractive.

Margi Cole: Breaking bad!

Themes:

The woman with the black eye

I am suddenly fascinated by this woman wearing civilian clothes, a holster on one hip (yes, there’s a gun in it), a big folding knife on the other, and a black eye. She’s sitting 8′ from me. And now she’s on a laptop — must investigate!

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Zeddy™ Nominated

Chris Wisor:

C’mon man. Go ask her. Go give her the story and tell her you have 20 people interested in whats going on. Just grab a spoon and pretend its a microphone. But set your phone on your table, aim it in that direction and hit “record” first. Cause if she gets up and puts you in an armbar, that will be great footage!

[time passes — and I haven’t posted anything]

Chris Wisor:

Wait, maybe he is over talking to her now. He hasn’t said a word…its either all smiles and joy….or arm-bars and pain.

Now with 25% more!

now-with-25-percent-more-zero-dean

I will soon be 25% more mysterious than I am now.

Muahahaha!

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Zeddy™ Nominated

Andrew Shelden:

“My geeky math:

Margie says 25% more mysterious -> 100% + 25% = 125% (or 25% more interesting)

I say 25% more mysterious means only 75% as “revealing” -> 100%/75%=133% or 33% more interesting.

You see how I did that? Impress your friends with stupid math tricks.”

Chris Wisor:

Your math just locked up my brain! Can you reduce that to Zero’s and One’s so I can understand?

Andrew Shelden:

Margi says: 1100100 + 11001 =1111101
Andrew says : 1100100/1001011 = 10000101

Chris Wisor:

AWESOME!!!!!! He used REAL binary. Andrew today, YOU are the MAN!

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Themes:

Click here for details about my new book.