The Final Countdown

the-final-countdown-zero-dean

Going to the gym to wait for the apocalypse.This may be my best and last chance to find a woman I know can keep up with me when we’re running from…

Please let it be zombies!
Please let it be zombies!

I’m thinking that I’ll just hold a boom box over my head and blast out “The Final Countdown”.

Best verge-of-the-apocalypse girlfriend getting technique ever!

Read the comments on Facebook

Themes:

Re: Say Anything (Boombox scene)

Alien invas… celebration.

alien-invasion-celebration-zero-dean

To anyone truly worried about the apocalypse, please be assured that it’s not going to happen.

Trust me. I know. This news is coming directly from the transmission I’ve been picking up from our gray alien friends colonizing on the dark side of the moon.

In fact, they’re trying to keep it a surprise, but rumor has it that they’re planning a special “It’s not the end of the world” celebration tomorrow.

Lots of “fireworks” they say.

I’m excited!

Read the comments on Facebook

Themes:

Oooh! A puzzle!

oooh-a-puzzle-zero-dean

Just met this weird bald guy with crazy piercings.

His head was covered with what looked like symmetrically placed pins.

He handed me this intricately designed rubix cube like box and then kind of just disappeared. Maybe he’s in the locker room.

Anyway, the box looks like some kind of puzzle…

I’m going to play with it…

Read the comments on Facebook

Themes:

I survived the Y2K bug

i-survived-the-y2k-bug-zero-dean

Look at it this way, if you weren’t fortunate enough to get your “I survived the Y2K bug” t-shirt (like I did), then a “I survived the apocalypse” t-shirt is like the next best thing.

Man… Y2K bug, now THAT was something, kids.

Every computer in the entire world just…

… kept on running. Business as usual. But we were scared, man.

We. were. scared.

Well, I was.

Got a cool t-shirt for the win, though!

Read the comments on Facebook

Themes:

Looking for a few good nerds.

looking-for-a-few-good-nerds-zero-dean

Looking for a few good nerds.

Know Unix? I could use you for when the dinosaurs come.

Alien OS exploit specialist? Let’s express our independence.

Pint-size humanoid with hairy feet? You’re in my fellowship.

Blue-collar deep-core drillers? Come on, you don’t want to miss a thing.

Geologists specializing in the Earth’s electromagnetic field? You can become part of my core team.

Psychics and clairvoyants? You know my number.

Let’s do this.

Read the comments on Facebook

Themes:

Apocalypse hot.

apocalypse-hot-zero-dean

You know, I’m thinking the apocalypse may not be so bad.

You ever hear of the “office hot” phenomenon (where the attractiveness of someone increases due to a limited pool of people?)

I’m thinking that even if I get banged up a little, as long as I survive impending doom, I might just become “apocalypse hot”.

Suddenly being one of the last men on earth doesn’t sound so bad.

Plus —

“If I was one of the last men on earth, would you…?”

— wouldn’t be such a taboo question to ask ladies you just met.

Read the comments on Facebook

Themes:

The end of dirty laundry as we know it

the-end-of-dirty-laundry-zero-dean

Ladies, I don’t know what tomorrow has in store for us, but I just want you to know one thing…

That even though we may all be incinerated by massive sunflares, or blown to bits by incoming asteroids —

I’m STILL doing my laundry today.

Because I refuse to meet my doom in dirty underwear. (And I’m even throwing in a few extra dryer sheets for good measure.)

If that doesn’t show true character, I don’t know what does.

PS. I’m only 5 hours from Vegas… *wink* *wink*

Read the comments on Facebook

“I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.” — Woody Allen

Themes:

Click here for details about my new book.