There has to be a law for that.

there-has-to-be-a-law-for-that-zero-dean

How come when I do something ridiculous, I almost always have an audience…

But when I do something awesome, there are never any witnesses to my awesomeness… Even in a crowded gym.

Kick flipping that yoga ball onto the rack just now was awesome.

Audience = 0.

Literally.

I believe there has to be some kind of universal law dictating that the size of your viewing audience is inversely proportional to the degree to which your action was awesome.

Themes:

Originally published on: Sep 28, 2012 @ 09:46

Banana peels…

banana-peels-zero-dean

Confession of the day:

As a child, I used to think that slipping on banana peels was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.

* When I saw this banana peel in the gym parking lot, it immediately reminded me of a similarly themed meme involving quicksand. So yes, it is totally inspired by that — but also prompted by a real-life encounter with a banana peel. :)

Themes:

Originally published on: Aug 10, 2013 @ 06:30

Semi-colons

semi-colons-zero-dean

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There are two; types of people in the world; those who know; how to use semi-colons properly; and those who don’t.

Full disclosure:

Semicolons are one of the reasons why I break so many grammatical rules on purpose. Basically — to avoid drawing attention to the fact that despite going to college for six years — some of which involving English — I still can’t use a semicolon worth a damn.

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Related:

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.” – Kurt Vonnegut

Themes:

Originally published on: Aug 16, 2013 @ 13:52

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