Juan gets lunch


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My friend, Juan — the facilities supervisor at my gym — is originally from Mexico.

Juan doesn’t always speak the best English.

This is how he just described going home for lunch:

“I go to make my stomach and my mind happy.”

And while I did just say his English isn’t always perfect, this isn’t one of those times.

What a wonderful way to look at eating.

Now excuse me while I, too, go to make my stomach and my mind happy.

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From the comments:

Mauro: The Spanish saying which your friend Juan loosely translated into English is, “¡Barriga llena, corazón contento!” — When your belly is full your heart is also happy!



It’s an old lock


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That awkward moment you have one of those old style combination locks for your gym locker and when you go to unlock it, you kind of get the numbers right, but not exactly, and your lock unlocks anyway.

And you think, “Ah, well, that’s because it knows me.”

Which is ridiculous.

Now I just think my lock has bad eyesight.

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My stepladder


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That awkward moment the facilities supervisor at the gym laughs at you when you try to convince him that the small stepladder next to the Lost & Found box is actually yours.

“Hey! My stepladder!”
Smiling, “No, I work out with this!”
“I brought this from home. I do exercises on it!”

He just continued to laugh and wouldn’t give me my stepladder.

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My friend Dave is an older fellow.

When I first met him at the gym, he said, “My friends used to call me ‘Red’, but…” and then, with a grin spreading across his face, he pointed at his bushy white hair.

Well, it’s been a few months since I first met Dave.

But now every time I see him he says, “There he is!”

And I always smile because I find it funny.

Because, see, I know Dave’s eyesight isn’t too good (it isn’t good at all)…

And, to me, it’s almost as if every time Dave spots me, he’s actually spent the last 10 minutes in a game of hide & seek looking for me.

And then he seems so happy when he finally discovers where I am.

“There he is!”

Yep. Here I am, Dave. You got me! Play again tomorrow?

Yup, I like Dave.

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Gym eggs

“You have chickens?”
“I have chickens! I will bring you eggs.”

This was the gist of the conversation I had with my Mexican friend at the gym the other day.

And so it came to be that I now have freshly laid eggs.

My mutant powers strike again.


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What's the word?

At gym.

Tom sees me, “You get beat up yet?”
“Not yet.”

A few minutes later I see my friend Joel and tell him about yesterday’s gym incident, to which he replies (laughing), “That’s hilarious. I wish that happened to me! What’s the word for that guy…”


“Yeah. Insecure. What a–”

You get the idea.

Good guys.

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Adverse attraction


I was really going to try to be humble today, but based on this morning’s incident at the gym, it occurs to me that I might just be a little too sexy today.

I apologize if you or anyone you know has been adversely affected by this unexpected turn of events. I’m not usually this sexy.

I’ll try to tone it down.

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