Priceless

priceless-zero-dean

Forgetting your gym towel: $0.

Using your shirt as a towel after showering at the gym: $0.

Taking a right turn out of the men’s showers into the co-ed pool area instead of taking a left back into the men’s locker room: $priceless.

It’s a good thing my mind is so preoccupied this morning, that might’ve been embarrassing.

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Themes:

Philadelphia

philadelphia-zero-dean

That awkward moment you’re In a gym locker room — in Memphis, TN — and you overhear two older guys — who don’t know anything about movies — talking about movies…

“I still ain’t seen that Philadelphia”
“What?”
“That Philadelphia movie… I think it’s about gays.”
“Philadelphia, eh? Wait, I think I seen that one – where the military does experiments on soldiers?”
“Gays?”,
“Yeah, I think so.”

They have, unbeknownst to them, just created a movie mash-up between Philadelphia and The Philadelphia Experiment. Kind of Genius, really.

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Themes:

Rant mode

rant-mode-zero-dean

Guy walks into the men’s locker room. He’s ranting, “These guys that just sit on the machines and stare — they slow everything down.”

Older guy, Russian accent, without hesitation, “What are you, commanding an army!? Let it go!”

Ranting man: Rant mode deactivated.

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Themes:

Warning: Mirror.

warning-mirror-zero-dean

That awkward moment you discover that the gym you are visiting has putting a warning label on the mirrors. I thought seeing your own reflection would be a pretty big clue, but then I realized… VAMPIRES!

Personally, I think they should’ve put up a humanoid shaped silhouette, like they do for birds on windows.

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Themes:

Error 28

error-28-zero-dean

hat awkward moment you run so fast that the treadmill you’re running on suddenly gives up, gasping “error 28”.

I just wanted to see how fast it would go!

Sadly, it didn’t catch on fire or shoot sparks or anything cool. it just stopped.

It’s a sad day when a treadmill gives up before you do!

“Error 28” my ass.

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Themes:

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