Whatchoo drinkin' on?

Standing in the self-serve coffee section in Panera Bread.

A server walks up, “Whatchoo drinkin’ on?”

“Hazelnut”

“Lemme gitchoo a freshun”

“Ok!”.

He walks off and comes back a few moments later, “Canna fit much innis cup!” he says, pointing at my cup, “You wanna bigguh cup?”

“Naw, I’m good, but thank you!”

Super friendly guy. And sincere. That was pretty cool. I’m not making fun of his speech. It’s just his speech WAS FUN. Happy dude. :)

From the comments:

Ashley Renee Burke: One of the many reasons to love the south

Zero: Yeah… and we weren’t at a register. He was just refilling coffee when I was there. He went in back and got me fresh Hazelnut… and then offered to swap my cup for a larger one. People like that brighten my day…I just want to hang out with them. ;)

The most accommodating man ever.

After a woman and I discussed sharing my (flaky) power outlet, I overhear her telling her female friend — who suggested sitting elsewhere — “Oh no — this is the most accommodating man ever. I WANT to be near him.” :)

Made me laugh. (I simply told her she could plug into my power splitter if her outlet didn’t work right.)

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The sweet treat.

Starving, but stopped at Target before getting something to eat.

So I caved in and bought a treat.

The cashier notices, “You want this in the bag or me to leave it out for you?”

“OH! I’m going to find that no matter where you hide it on me, you can be sure of that!”

It must have been my animated delivery, as she thought that was the funniest thing ever.

“AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, then I’m going to leave it out for you!” she says, laughing, “You have a wonderful night, sweetheart!”

“You, tooooooo! Thank you!”

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Philadelphia

philadelphia-zero-dean

That awkward moment you’re In a gym locker room — in Memphis, TN — and you overhear two older guys — who don’t know anything about movies — talking about movies…

“I still ain’t seen that Philadelphia”
“What?”
“That Philadelphia movie… I think it’s about gays.”
“Philadelphia, eh? Wait, I think I seen that one – where the military does experiments on soldiers?”
“Gays?”,
“Yeah, I think so.”

They have, unbeknownst to them, just created a movie mash-up between Philadelphia and The Philadelphia Experiment. Kind of Genius, really.

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Themes:

Rant mode

rant-mode-zero-dean

Guy walks into the men’s locker room. He’s ranting, “These guys that just sit on the machines and stare — they slow everything down.”

Older guy, Russian accent, without hesitation, “What are you, commanding an army!? Let it go!”

Ranting man: Rant mode deactivated.

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Themes:

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