Boundaries maintained

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That awkward moment you walk out to your car in the parking lot and discover you accidentally left it unlocked.

When that happens, I like to pretend that I did it on purpose and was really just testing people.

Nothing stolen?

Good job, humans! You pass!

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Originally published on: Nov 29, 2014 @ 18:20

Let me repeat that…

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I wonder if the people who press their car horns for an excessive amount of time are the same people who continue repeating themselves long after they’ve made their point. O_o

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Originally published on: Oct 27, 2013 @ 10:24

Traffic

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Every time I see CONSTRUCTION: LANES MERGE AHEAD signs on the freeway I am suddenly able to predict my immediately foreseeable future with 98% accuracy.

Eat that, Nostradamus.

*And that one guy who always waits until the last second to merge. That guy’s an ass.

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"Character"

That awkward moment a BMW rams into the back of your 4Runner at a stoplight.

That even more awkward moment that pushes you into the Mercedes in front of you.

The good news is my vehicle is 13 years old and I’m not particularly concerned with what what appear to be only moderate cosmetic issues.

We call that “adding character” around here.

(But we all exchanged info anyway).

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*Apparently character looks a lot like dents, dings, and scratches.

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Invalidated parking

invalidated-parking-zero-dean

That awkward moment you legitimately park so badly, that when you get out of your car and discover how badly you parked, you laugh and have to take a picture.

If it wasn’t so absolutely ridiculous, I might be ashamed.

*Yes, I fixed it.

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Yeehaw!

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9:12AM

Driving a Cadillac and listening to a country music radio station on my way to the gym this morning.

My god, I’m living the American Dream.

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9:23AM

Good guy mechanic always greets me by name and asks me how I’m doing.

Loans me his Cadillac so I can go to the gym.

I knew I liked this guy.

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9:36AM

Driving someone else’s Cadillac to the gym.

Get followed by police officer.

Go the speed limit.

Don’t get pulled over.

‘Merica!

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One of the reasons I don't text and drive

one-of-the-reasons-i-dont-text-and-drive-zero-dean

One of the reasons I don’t text and drive is because I want to be paying attention so I can try to avoid getting hit by some idiot who is texting and driving.

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