SSSSSS!

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12:53 PM

I’m no expert, but I think the guy leaning against the wall outside of this laundromat and hissing at people might be a demon.

Or a highly evolved lizard snake person.

I wonder if he will be friends with me?

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Themes:

there-is-no-zero-only-zuul-zero-dean

2:07 PM

THERE IS NO ZERO, ONLY ZUUL.

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2:40 PM

zuul-cover-zero-dean

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i-am-zuul-zero-dean

5:49 PM

“I am ZUUL.”

Another failed pickup line at the gym today.

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Pumping with confidence

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“I see you’re into the premium stuff. I’m more of a regular guy, myself. But check out my pumping moves.”

Another failed pick up line at the gas station today.

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Re: Pumping with confidence (video)

From the comments:

Carl: ARCO – Pumping With Confidence

Zero: OH HELL YEAH. I am pumping with confidence!

That said, that commercial feels weird. Like a parody. But it isn’t a parody.

Carl: Yeah, when I first saw that, I was amazed that they actually went there. It’s right up there with K-Mart’s “ship my pants” one

Zero: OoooOOOOooooh. O_O.

Baiting with Benjamins

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My “Ask me about being straight and available!” button didn’t attract any ladies at the gym yesterday, so I’m going to try taping $100 bills to my body today and see if that works.

This is *totally* gonna work.

I’m excited!

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Well that's inconvenient

well-thats-inconvenient-zero-dean

“I was going to call you today, but I don’t have your number.”

Another failed pick up line at the gym today.

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From the comments:

Kimberli: I actually think that one is kinda cute and could work, depending on the delivery!!

Zero: As with many of them — bad as they are — some could actually be “saved” if done in just the right way (proper approach, tone, body language…) with just the right person… at an appropriate time.

In many cases, when strangers approach other strangers and begin speaking, the person being spoken to doesn’t immediately register what is even being said. Instead they are drawing upon all these other factors — and their general sense of comfort and/or attraction to the speaker.

A person’s mind is often made up regarding that kind of immediate “interest” in another person before it has even registered what has been said.

Of course, what IS said does make a difference, but there are so many subtle nuances involved that it isn’t always easy to predict what will work or what won’t.

I’ve written about this before, and the best approach isn’t a pickup line. It’s authenticity. Or humor. Or both. :)

Kimberli: Exactly! ;)

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