Reaching new heights

reaching-new-heights-zero-dean

That awkward moment you notice that — although you may only be 5’10” anywhere else — the door markers at the Circle K you’re in indicate you’re a solid 6 feet tall.

So yeah, ladies… if you’re looking for a tall man, I’m the man you’re looking for…

at this Circle K. And this Circle K only.

Phoenix, Arizona.

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

Numb soldier

numb-soldier-zero-dean

That awkward moment you have dry lips, but all you can find is Brave Soldier Antiseptic healing ointment.

That even more awkward moment you forget that it has a pretty strong numbing agent and now all you can feel below your nose and above your neck is nothing.

Groovy.

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

Related:

Nerds!

nerds-zero-dean

That awkward moment while in the course of texting a potential online date you send her a link to a Wikipedia article.

And she texts you back with, “Did you really just text me a link to Wikipedia?”

I said yes…

…and never heard from her again.

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

From the comments:

Carissa: so, this begs the question: what was the article about?

Zero: I did this m/ and she asked what that was. Tried to explain. Failed. Resorted to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_of_the_horns

David: She doesn’t know that? How old was she, were you going to take out for psketti? Good thing you didn’t break out the double horns m/-_-m/ or you’d have some real explaining to do!

Priceless

priceless-zero-dean

Forgetting your gym towel: $0.

Using your shirt as a towel after showering at the gym: $0.

Taking a right turn out of the men’s showers into the co-ed pool area instead of taking a left back into the men’s locker room: $priceless.

It’s a good thing my mind is so preoccupied this morning, that might’ve been embarrassing.

See the comments on Facebook.

Themes:

Click here for details about my new book.