Anytime I start thinking of myself as clever, I remind myself of the time I bought a pizza, put it on my roof when I got in my car, and drove away.
Originally published on: Apr 27, 2014 @ 13:54
That awkward moment when you think you see someone you don’t want to see —
but it only turns out to be their doppelganger.
And then you feel a weird sense of disappointment because you went through the whole awkward emergency emotional response —
for nothing. O_o
Originally published on: Dec 22, 2013 @ 14:09
When I have a family, I’m thinking about naming one of my children Exception.
That way I can have fun conversations like…
“Hey, did you hear about the new park opening up?”
“New park, eh? I think I’ll take Exception to that!”
“Why, are you offended?”
“No, no. Exception is my son.”
“WHY would you name your child Exce–”
Anyway, you get the idea.
Originally published on: Sep 27, 2013 @ 09:05
I think network news should be called, “What we think you should worry about next.”
I only see bits and pieces of it while it’s on the monitors at the gym, but it’s almost always the same predominant message…
There are so many amazing and beautiful things going on in the world. Those things are inspiring and motivating.
More of that, please.
Of course, I want to be informed and know what’s going on in the world. But the non stop fear cycle is tiring. And so much news nowadays is just biased spin now.
I realize we are responsible for what we watch, but I can’t help but think the world might be less afraid if we weren’t constantly barraged with fear messages.
Originally published on: Jun 1, 2013 @ 10:58
Whenever I’m standing somewhere and people ask me if I’m in line, I always say “yes, I’m in line” even if I’m not in line for whatever they’re probably in line for.
I do this just in case they’re about to start a line for something I could potentially be in line for. Because, frankly, I could potentially be in line for a lot of things and I want to make absolutely sure that whatever those potential things might be, I’m the first one in line for them.
*Free money, free pandas, free sword fighting lessons, free movie tickets, free burritos, free guacamole, free anti-gravity boots…
Stuff like that. It’s a pretty extensive list.
Originally published on: Dec 10, 2014 @ 14:01
Confession of the day:
As a child, I used to think that clouds weren’t actually moving anywhere and they only traveled across the sky because the Earth was spinning.
Originally published on: May 9, 2013 @ 09:36
That awkward infinite brain loop that happens when you start thinking about all the things you may have forgotten in your life, but you can’t remember them because you can’t remember them. O_o
Originally published on: Aug 24, 2013 @ 16:13
Weird idea of the morning:
I’m thinking about starting a band called “The Refrainers”.
All we do is go on stage and refrain from playing music.
I think it’ll be a big hit.
Originally published on: Jun 26, 2013 @ 10:43