I don’t care what you say, I think my new “Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes” T-shirt screams confidence… with a subtle hint of romanticism thrown in.
That awkward moment you witness a customer negotiate the price of his meal with the east Indian owner of a Subway.
Also, the owner doesn’t cut his nails.
I mean like ever.
That awkward moment you’re sitting at a table in a bookstore and an old man, sitting at a table next to you, is reading a book on Microsoft Windows and repeatedly muttering, “You have to be f****ing kidding me.”
I think not.
Standing in the self-serve coffee section in Panera Bread.
A server walks up, “Whatchoo drinkin’ on?”
“Lemme gitchoo a freshun”
He walks off and comes back a few moments later, “Canna fit much innis cup!” he says, pointing at my cup, “You wanna bigguh cup?”
“Naw, I’m good, but thank you!”
Super friendly guy. And sincere. That was pretty cool. I’m not making fun of his speech. It’s just his speech WAS FUN. Happy dude. :)
From the comments:
Ashley Renee Burke: One of the many reasons to love the south
Zero: Yeah… and we weren’t at a register. He was just refilling coffee when I was there. He went in back and got me fresh Hazelnut… and then offered to swap my cup for a larger one. People like that brighten my day…I just want to hang out with them. ;)
Walk into a kind of “funky”, locally owned coffee shop in Santa Monica, California.
This place has character. It’s also empty. Journey is playing on the radio. The Cashier hears me enter and greets me with a smile.
As I go to order, she puts her hand up and says, “Hold on. We’re having a ‘Journey moment’.”
I stand and smile. Moments pass. We just stand there. And finally The song winds down…
“Ok”, she smiles, “How can I help you?”
Learned 2 things today…
1. A 2nd offense for dark window tint (not my car!) in California costs $800.
2. Removing said window tint actually takes less than 60 seconds when the officer says “If it’s not here when I get back, you won’t get a ticket.”
Based on personal experience in the past 12 hours, I have learned that Israeli locksmiths charge $120 for a 15 second job at midnight.
This works out to $28,800 per hour or $230,000 per day.
On a side note, I am changing careers and becoming a locksmith.
Just now at the post office:
“Zero? Interesting name. Good thing you don’t look like a Zero.”
Then: “Ooh, the things that come out of my mouth.”
Moments ago… lady at the UPS store reading my address: “Zero? That was really cruel of your parents.” (she was actually kinda friendly, though).
5 minutes later at the bank: “Zero! That’s a nice name.”
The full spectrum right there.