Just Married

I’ve decided that tomorrow I’m going to tie a bunch of cans to the back of my 4Runner, paint “Just Married” on the back window, and just drive around and see what happens.

If people ask me about my partner, I’ll just say that she doesn’t exist yet and that I’m really just practicing.

Because, seriously, how am I supposed to know how dragging a bunch of cans behind my car is going to affect my driving — or my gas mileage for that matter.

Because on my wedding day, I want to be able to turn to my newly wedded wife and say, “Don’t worry about the cans, baby. I spent a day in back 2013 driving around with cans hanging off the back of my 4Runner. I’ve prepared for this moment. I know what I’m doing.”

And she’ll believe me, too.

Because if she’s marrying me, she’ll know just how odd — and yet amazingly prepared! — I really am. ;)

Also, at my wedding, everyone needs to throw dried bread instead of rice.

Because I made a pact with a bunch of ducks once and I’m not going to break it.

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