False forecasts

That awkward moment someone writes you an email that starts with:

“Zero, I’m rather disgusted with…”

And you find your body tensing — while you hold your breath — because you are fully expecting it to end with:

“you” or “your post from earlier today” or any number of ways in which it could go poorly —

But instead, it ends with: “the system, too”

And you find yourself letting out of huge a sigh of relief. And now smiling, unexpectedly, because it was just someone agreeing with you.

Phew!

That’s like starting a conversation with “We need to talk!”

Don’t ever do that unless it’s bad. Because even if it’s good, I am totally on the other end of the spectrum when you start speaking.

“We need to talk…”
“Uh…”
“We won the lottery!”
“I’M SORRY!” … “Wait.” … “Wut?”

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