Dear loud cafe patron

Dear loud cafe patron –

If you’re going to have a loud phone conversation in a public place — and also use the word “fuck” repeatedly — please at least speak in English so I have a clue as to WTF you’re talking about.

I mean, seriously. I have a difficult enough time listening in on private conversations in public places as it is, without you speaking in languages it would take a Babel fish to understand.

How am I supposed to know if you’re talking about anything that might be extremely entertaining to my audience if I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about? O_o

Sure, I may very well be violating some kind of common courtesy or etiquette by listening in — and I’m pretty sure I am — but I feel like you’re totally violating even MORE rules by:

1. speaking on the phone loudly
2. swearing in English
And 3. all the while carrying on your conversation in non-English — in a public place.

I mean, it’s almost like you want some privacy from people like me or something. Hmmpf.

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