Adventures in bagging

That awkward moment when you’re in public and you forget that people don’t realize how freaking hilarious you are.

So when the cashier asks you if a plastic bag is ok, you lower your voice and say:

“NooooOOOOooooooOOOOooooo.” (because you don’t need a bag at all — but she doesn’t know that yet)

And then you realize there’s nowhere else to go with your weird sing-songy “No” joke, and it doesn’t really sound funny without a punchline…

So then you snap back to being normal, apologize, and explain what you meant.

And she goes:

“Oh, no worries! I hear worse all the time!”

And then because no one is in line behind you, you end up having a delightful conversation about how you were a bag boy when you were 16 and that time when you bagged someone’s groceries wrong and they shouted, “You really ARE a zero!”

So I don’t tend to take the whole bagging groceries thing too seriously.

And she’s like, “I would’ve cried. You probably couldn’t cry. But I would’ve cried!”

And that’s how you make friends by being stupid at the grocery store.

Good times.

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