A disturbance of Zen

a-disturbance-of-zen-zero-dean

11:59 AM

That awkward moment you proactively schedule some time to talk to someone (who represents a department within a company) with the intention of paying them for a service, but by the time you are done talking to them, you want to punch their company in the face and never do business with them again.

That really takes a special kind of customer service.

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12:28 PM

Wants to pay for a single 30 to 60 minute session with a personal trainer in order to learn how to do some exercises correctly (ie avoid injury & maintain good form).

Instead, gets the workaround.

“We only offer a minimum of 12 training sessions at $45 per session.”

“Well that’s more than what I need.”

“I can’t give you what we don’t have to offer.”

“Ok.”

“But if you had asked us a year ago, we could have helped you.”

Uhhh…. (that is like the least helpful thing to say)

“Ok. Well, I just want to learn to do a couple exercises correctly. Maybe I’ll just ask your trainers for help a couple times a week.”

“Don’t talk to our trainers. Leave our trainers alone.”

“What? Doesn’t your in-house radio ad actually say, ‘If you are unfamiliar with a piece of equipment, ask one of our friendly and knowledgeable staff for assistance?‘”

“That’s not what that’s for. Don’t try to subvert the system.”

Member for TEN years. Never asked for help.

Wants to pay for a service.

Ends up being accused of trying to subvert the system because he wants to learn how to do something without hurting himself, but doesn’t think 12 $45 sessions is necessary to meeting that particular need.

I get that you don’t offer the service I was hoping to pay for, but don’t insult me by… uh, insulting me. O_o

Duffy: What *is* the “ask one of our friendly and knowledgeable staff” for?

Zero: I asked that, too. He showed me…

*pointing at seat* “This is where you sit.”
*pointing at seat lever* “This is where you adjust the seat settings.”
*pointing at weights* “This is where you pick your weights.”

“Our help isn’t for people like you.”

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1:08 PM

It didn’t help that the unhelpful Trainer Operations Manager guy looked like Clark Kent.

I felt conflicted.

He could’ve at least had some facial hair. Then I would’ve known he was from a parallel universe where everyone is evil.

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1:19 PM

[serious] I think this is why I have issues when it comes to asking for help.

When I do, it often ends up seeming like more more trouble than it’s worth. O_o

(Yes, I get they can’t offer me a service they don’t offer. But they didn’t have to be so douchey about it. That may sound harsh, but I am a pretty Zen guy. When I walk up wanting to actually pay for a service and walk away feeling like punching your company in the face, you probably did something douchey).

In the end, I nearly always resolve to do whatever I need done *myself. Even if it’s the hard way.

*Unless it involves potential electrocution. I let other people do those things. (I’m allergic to electric shocks).

So yeah…

Pay 540 clams for 12 training sessions I don’t actually want or need…

Or get on the YouTube and watch some videos for no dollars.

Let me think about that.

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